"And I said baby, baby, baby NO!"
I would give my first born to not have children.-- Allie Goertz (@AllieGoertz) July 5, 2015
There should be a dating site that's marketed to ppl who don't want kids. Baby-Free Harmony. Or Close-the-Hatch.com Or Ashley Madison.-- Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) January 4, 2011
Men: "I don't want kids."-- Mother Faulkner (@Mother_Faulkner) June 6, 2016
Society: "I get that."
Women: "I don't want kids."
Society: "Oh, you don't mean that!! You'll change your mind!!"
If you don't have children, life has no meaning. If you do have children, life still has no meaning, but now you're also poor & irritated-- Hippo (@InternetHippo) January 17, 2016
if you decide you don't want kids you should be able to change your breast milk to something else like whiskey or whiskey-- lauren ashley bishop (@sbellelauren) November 27, 2011
People tell me that I should have children cause I'm great with kids, but I'm even better with old people and no one suggests I house them.-- Marcella Arguello (@marcellacomedy) August 17, 2015
Whoever said #childfree folks are selfish with no responsibilities-I'm carrying a ziplock of dog poop in my purse for my dog's vet check up.-- Lisa Jakub (@Lisa_Jakub) December 19, 2014
I thank god I don't have children every minute of every hour of every day of the year-- Ziwe (@Ziweeee) July 19, 2015
The question is no longer what kind of world are you leaving for your children but how can anyone responsibly have children.-- God (@TheTweetOfGod) August 27, 2014
i've been running my AC for 3 days straight but i will never have children so i am still more earth friendly than you-- luisa díez (@luisadieznuts) July 7, 2013
Children are the ultimate invaders: they steal all your resources & then try to convince the original inhabitants to worship their weird art-- Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) May 9, 2016
Child-free women: Preempt old female relatives' intrusive pregnancy questions with, "So, how's the inside of your pussy these days?"-- Nikki Walter (@TurboGrandma) September 22, 2014