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Despite his advanced age, the Elder of the locker room still somehow manages to be a staple of the gym. While I applaud his vigor, I wish he'd show just a tad bit more humility. Apparently raised in a time where it was totally cool to just let it all hang out after a workout, the Elder takes his sweet ass time, just walking around without a towel and starting a bunch of uncomfortable awkward conversations. No offense to anybody, but nobody needs to see that many wrinkles.

 

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The Exhibitionist is clearly proud of what he's got and is taking full advantage of the opportunity it off. Granted, just because you're allowed to be naked in the locker room, doesn't mean you have to wave your massive hog around in front of everyone, but, hey, if you got it flaunt it I guess.

 

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The opposite of the Exhibitionist, the Hider turns keeping your body under wraps into an artform. He changes with an inordinate sense of urgency, all the while peering over his shoulder like he's a mouse in a room full of cats. Granted, nobody likes to change in front of strangers, but this dude takes it to an extreme. His overblown sense of modesty doesn't even make sense. Sure, he may not be the Exhibitionist but he still has a perfectly respectable dick. It's nicely shaped, and clean looking.

 

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The Loud Talker's dick is a bit on the smaller side. It just out of a tuft of unkempt, black pubes, hanging just slightly to the left. Of all the dicks in the locker room, the Loud Talker's is by far the least impressive. Just a really underwhelming dick all around.

 

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You can't see his dick because of the angle he's standing, but you know his name is Jeff because of his conversation with the loud one. He does have a weird freckle on his butt though.

 

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The Angry One needs to take a chill pill. They fly into an unnecessary rage and won't listen to reason. You don't know what his dick looks like, but if it's anything like him then it's a mean dick. It's a dick that breaks your camera phone and closes your laptop while you're typing. It's a dick that won't listen to you no matter how many times you tell it that what you're doing is research for an article. Also it probably has grey pubes.