Regardless of your opinions on Kim Kardashian, Kanye West, and/or Taylor Swift, something is going on in the world of Snapchat that involves all three and will DEFINITELY be of interest to you: on July 17th, 2016, Kim's Snapchat account completely and utterly obliterated Taylor Swift from the face of the Earth.
Listen, if I had to name three celebrities in the world that I never wanted to hear or see again in any context, these three might be the ones. But this is so friggin good it's hard to not get at least a little excited by the way they've mixed reality and social media into a grand-scale soap opera where we all get to be the audience.
To clarify what's going on: earlier this year, Kanye West released a song called "Famous" on his album The Life of Pablo, which included the following lyrics (referencing their sordid history together, namely Kanye's infamous "Imma let you finish" moment):
For all my Southside niggas that know me best
I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex
Why? I made that bitch famous
I made that bitch famous.
Kanye claimed to have run the lyrics by Taylor before releasing the album, both as a courtesy and to get her approval. Swift's reps shot back immediately to deny the claim, saying:
Kanye did not call for approval, but to ask Taylor to release his single 'Famous' on her Twitter account. She declined and cautioned him about releasing a song with such a strong misogynistic message. Taylor was never made aware of the actual lyric, 'I made that bitch famous.'
If this were all that had happened, this would probably still be a pretty big deal - but Taylor took things to the next level by throwing some serious shade (and additional denials) Kanye's way in her acceptance speech at the 2016 Grammy's for her Album of the Year award, saying:
As the first woman to win Album of the Year at the Grammys twice, I wanna say to all the young women out there: There are going to be people along the way who will try to undercut your success, or take credit for your accomplishments or your fame, but if you just focus on the work and you don't let those people sidetrack you, someday when you get where you're going, you'll look around and you'll know that it was you and the people who love you that put you there, and that will be the greatest feeling in the world.
And, at the time - that was that. It was a case of "he said, she said", with Taylor Swift as the victim to Kanye West's lewd and aggressive misogyny. Poor Taylor, right? And Kanye - what a huge jerk! Lying about calling her AND belittling her accomplishments in a song! How rude of him!
Cut to July 17th, 2016, when Kim Kardashian blew Taylor Swift the fuck up by snapping out a recording of Kanye discussing the lyrics with Taylor EXACTLY LIKE HE SAID HE DID:
Here's the full transcript in case you don't want to watch a sloppily-edited together series of Snapchats:
Kanye: "Oh okay do, you still got- you still got the Nashville number?"
Taylor: "I do still have the Nashville area code but, I had to change it."
Kanye: "For all my south side n*ggas that know me best... I feel like me and Taylor, might still have sex."
Taylor: "I'm like, this close to over exposure."
Kanye: "Oh, well this one is uh, this is a really cool thing to have uhh."
Taylor: "I know! It's like a compliment kind of."
Kanye: ".. give a f*ck about is just you as a person and as a friend, I want things that you feel good, I don't wanna do rap that makes you feel bad
Taylor: "Umm yeah I mean, go with whatever line you think is better. It's obviously very tongue in cheek either way."
Taylor: "I really appreciate you telling me about it! That's really nice."
Kanye: "Uh, yeah I just feel like I had a responsibility to you as a friend, I mean."
Kanye: "I mean, thanks for being like so cool about it."
Taylor: "Aww thanks, I really appreciate it, like the heads up is, that is so nice."
Taylor: "Even asking or seeing if I'm being okay with it, I really appreciate, like I'd never had expected you to tell me about a line your song."
Taylor: "The flowers that you sent me! I like, Instagrammed a picture of them and its the most Instagram likes I've ever gotten like 2.7."
Kanye: "Relationships more important than punchlines, you know."
Taylor: "Yeah, I mean, I don't think anybody would listen to that and think, 'Oh that's a real bit, he must be crying'"
Taylor: "You gotta tell the story like the way it happened to you and the way you experienced it, like you honestly didn't know who I was before that."
Taylor: "It doesn't matter if I sold seven million off that album before you did that, which is what happened. You didn't know who I was before that, that's fine."
Taylor: "And then you get cant hear that to make these things happen, and I have the idea to do it, and I create these things and concepts, it's like, I'm always gonna respect you."
Taylor: "And I'm really glad that, you had the respect to call me and tell me about the song and..."
Taylor: "It's just like, it's just a really cool thing to do, and a really good show of friendship so thank you."
Kanye: "Thanks, you too."
Taylor: "If people ask me about it, it would be great to tell, well he called me and told me before it came out, jokes on you guys, we're fine."
Taylor: "You guys wanna call this a feud, you wanna call this throwing shade, but I'm gonna be on the Grammy red carpet and they're gonna ask me about it and I'm gonna be like, he called me."
So - not only did Kanye run this all by Taylor Swift, but he even went so far as to make it clear he valued their friendship and wanted to avoid hurting anyone's feelings - and Swift thanked him and told him how much she appreciated it. And Kim Kardashian has been sitting on this recording for MONTHS, just waiting for the right day to release it. And the day she chose?
And now, naturally, the internet is melting down with delight - Kim Kardashian has finally done something that pretty much everyone can agree is amazing:
KIM KARDASHIAN'S SNAPCHAT RIGHT NOW IS MY GENERATION'S MOON LANDING-- Brodie Lancaster (@brodielancaster) July 18, 2016
I vow never to make fun of Kim kardashian again. Her loyalty to her man and her ability to destroy her enemies is straight up medieval.-- Owen Benjamin (@OwenBenjamin) July 18, 2016
Kim Kardashian is proof that heroes don't always wear capes.-- Frank Costa (@feistyfrank) July 18, 2016
Kim Kardashian sitting on this proof for MONTHS waiting for National Snake Day is a better scheme than literally anything on Game of Thrones-- Jake Cole (@notjustmovies) July 18, 2016
Kim kardashian was only 35 when she finally exposed the snake, taylor swift, for the whole world to see https://t.co/D5Du152fVv-- #1 kimberly hater (@apunkgrl) July 18, 2016
Y'all make fun of Kim Kardashian for having no talent but she just made Watergate seem like a junior high journalism project-- Sam Stryker (@sbstryker) July 18, 2016
Everyone always says Kim Kardashian has no talent, but that girl can orchestrate an exposé better than any professional journalist.-- steph (@stephisntfunny) July 18, 2016
I'm laughing at what a sociopath she is. She tried to Gone Girl this entire situation. It's almost inspiring https://t.co/uiSjBisZ7O-- not lindsay lohan (@drugproblem) July 18, 2016
I can't believe we're witnessing the murder of taylor swift-- this bitch (@AlannaBennett) July 18, 2016
if youda told me last week id be entertained by some kardashian taylor swift drama i wouldnt believe you-- Tracy Clayton (@brokeymcpoverty) July 18, 2016
Kim reading her timeline right now like pic.twitter.com/lnpoXlGPxC-- Complex Music (@ComplexMusic) July 18, 2016
In short: vapid reality show celebrities generally suck, but when they pull moves like this, you gotta give 'em props. Well played, Kim Kardashian. Well played.
Rare photo of Kim Kardashian and Taylor Swift pic.twitter.com/I45ZWkZaTE-- Brandon Dotson (@BrandonDotson_) July 18, 2016
UPDATE: Taylor Swift has responded:
That moment when Kanye West secretly records your phone call, then Kim posts it on the Internet. pic.twitter.com/4GJqdyykQu-- Taylor Swift (@taylorswift13) July 18, 2016
UPDATE (AGAIN): Some fellow stars have VERY SUBTLY rushed to Taylor Swift's defense, trying to play this whole dramatic thing off as silly nonsense...
There are more important things to talk about... Why can't people use their voice for something that fucking matters?-- Selena Gomez (@selenagomez) July 18, 2016
Everyone in this industry needs to get their heads out of a hole and look around to realize what's ACTUALLY happening in the REAL world-- Chloë Grace Moretz (@ChloeGMoretz) July 18, 2016