1. "Stay in school" said a guy who needs to go back to the 3rd grade and pay attention this time.
2. And I would have gotten away with it too, if not for you meddling Tumblr teens!
3. Yep, yep, totally normal story about an airline passenger secretly taking photos of you while you were sleeping and then emailing the pictures to you for some reason. Very believable.
4. Don't get a little thing like "eating" get in the way of your hunger strike.
5. Never, ever trust anything you read on the internet, folks.
8. She fell in love with a stock photo...sad, right?
9. Get a new therapist.
10. Reminder: GOOGLE IMAGE SEARCH IS A THING, PEOPLE.
11. THE CAKE IS A LIE
12. Welp, you are definitely anti-jokes, Mr. Apple.