Listen: I love Heavyweights. It's funny and goofy, and more or less introduced the world to both Ben Stiller AND Kenan Thompson. But it's poster is legitimately insane, and has confounded me for years.

undefined



1. Why is there a giant sandwich with a human being inside of it?

undefined

The poster for Heavyweights doesn't exactly scream "a bunch of overweight kids rebel against a fascist fat camp" - or, it sorta does, but in a way that goes wayyy further than the actual movie does. Basically, it pretty heavily implies the kids are planning on eating an actual human being.



2. Why is the human sandwich so gross?

undefined

The giant sandwich that dominates the poster for Heavyweights is baffling for a number of reasons (beyond the fact that it implies the children will smugly descend into cannibalism like it's no big deal) - for one, the condiment options of nacho cheese and relish really don't go together at all, even on hotdogs (if you disagree, you are legitimately insane).

And weirder yet - it's a fully-dressed human being inside the buns, meaning those kids are gonna be chewing through a LOT of denim. I don't know much about eating giant human hot dogs, but I know I don't want to eat a belt and sneakers IN ADDITION to a living human being.



3. Why isn't the human the kids plan on eating Ben Stiller's Tony Perkis?

undefined

The villain of Heavyweights is (very memorably) Ben Stiller as Tony Perkis - but the person the kids have decided to consume is...Lars? Lars is a lackey of Tony's, for sure, but he also immediately switches to the kids' side when they overthrow the camp. Does he really deserve to be eaten (in a gross sandwich, nonetheless) for being only sorta-evil?



4. Why are some of the kids half-assing the sandwich lifting?

undefined

Gerald and Josh are holding up their ends of the human-sandwich with both hands (which I imagine you would need to, given its an enormous sandwich containing a fully-grown adult and would be pretty heavy), but Philip and Roy (aka Kenan) are really half-assing it, only holding the sandwich with one arm each. Philip's other arm is in the air (but for some reason not making contact with the Lars-wich) while Kenan's other arm isn't visible at all (and might be missing entirely?).

Everyone needs to give 100% when holding up a sandwich containing a bodybuilding camp counselor, kids.



5. Who was in charge of photoshopping this nightmare?!

Heavyweights was released in 1995, and the state of photoshopping was still somewhat in its infancy - and it shows with whatever the hell has been done to these poor children and their faces (and, in Kenan Thompson's case, his missing arm). The weirdest-looking kids are probably the only two who are actually getting their lift on: Gerald and Josh.

undefined

undefined

Something weird has been done to their faces (particularly Josh's, whose chin somehow seems to be going inward instead of outward), and yet this isn't even remotely close to the weirdest part of the Heavyweights poster.




Again - I love Heavyweights. It's a great film and weirdly progressive for its time, painting fat shamers in a negative light and actually addressing a lot of the weird emotions of fat kids who know they're the "fat kids." It's smart and goofy and a nice little movie - but its poster will haunt me for the rest of time. WHY ARE THEY EATING LARS?!