Let's talk about something relevant and important to society today: Orlando Bloom's dick.
Thanks to some Twitter sleuths, several censored New York Daily News photos of a nude, paddleboarding Orlando Bloom were made uncensored (you can Google them, you know how computers work). This lead many people logging into a variety of social platforms this morning to see "Orlando Bloom" was trending - and many clicked, expecting to see some news about the next Pirates of the Carribean movie, or perhaps some bland piece of celebrity news. Instead, what we got was significantly more interesting: it was Orlando Bloom's dick, for all to see.
And, honestly, it's a pretty nice dick. Good length, right amount of chub to it, and neatly-trimmed pubes. A dick anyone could be proud of. He was showing it off while paddleboarding with his (fully-clothed) girlfriend, Katy Perry. What separates this from previous celebrity nudity scandals? Well, for one, these weren't private photos of his that were stolen from his phone, and secondly, he seemed aware of the folks taking the pics and encouraged them. After all, who wouldn't be proud of that dick?
Most people on Twitter were proud for him.
HELLO Orlando Bloom. pic.twitter.com/xUUnVuYPlq-- Aaron (@captain_az) August 4, 2016
never mind me just beside the lake watching orlando bloom paddle board pic.twitter.com/GcuEPg04HS-- Scottmersey (@yesremttocs) August 4, 2016
Everyone's reaction after seeing Orlando Bloom: pic.twitter.com/py1ayPI5tn-- Kick (@MatthewKick) August 4, 2016
Orlando Bloom could make world peace happen with this machine pic.twitter.com/Nrp1T4kwsq-- roman (@RomanNavy) August 3, 2016
While others were just hoping for some Pirates of the Caribbean updates.
me after finding out why orlando bloom is trending pic.twitter.com/RmRXSEHRRk-- Common White Girl (@CommonWhiteGrls) August 4, 2016
The question is though, why is Orlando Bloom naked on a paddle board? pic.twitter.com/ItZQLTTAYK-- Victoria India Price (@vipxo) August 4, 2016
-- shan (@tannedbieber) August 4, 2016
me after seeing the uncensored pic of Orlando Bloom pic.twitter.com/nNoJNJaZMq
Me after searching for the Orlando Bloom pics pic.twitter.com/T6SmgW28xv-- iDeckhim (@daviddeckhim) August 4, 2016
-- Kyle Stacey (@kylestaceyyy) August 4, 2016
*clicks on Orlando bloom trending thinking it's about the new Pirates of the Caribbean film*
When you innocently go into the "Orlando Bloom" search to see why Orlando Bloom is trending... pic.twitter.com/6MRp52hMXs-- Delonté De Clou (@dilemmv) August 4, 2016
And others responded in ways that we're all thinking.
-check out Orlando Bloom photo-- Mike Drucker (@MikeDrucker) August 4, 2016
-think, "Wow. He's not even erect yet"
-realize I focused on the word "yet"
-learn a little about myself
Saw the Orlando Bloom pics. His LOTR character shoulda been named Third Legolas.-- Corky Kneivel (@CorkyKneivel) August 4, 2016
Wait serious question what does Orlando Bloom's hat say-- Silvia Killingsworth (@silviakillings) August 4, 2016