1. It Wasn't Me - Shaggy
If you're looking to Shaggy for life advice, you're probably not the smartest person around. But this song is a whole new level of bad tips. When English singer Rikrok tells Shaggy the way-too-specific-to-be-fiction tale of how his girlfriend caught him cheating, Shaggy replies with some of the worst ideas ever uttered by a human being. "Say it wasn't you", he suggests, even when it's clear that this girl saw everything. He then continues to fool no one by giving dumb advice like:
"If she say a night, convince her say a day"
It is safe to say that Shaggy has never helped anyone maintain a relationship.
2. I'm With You - Avril Lavigne
In what's supposed to be a romantic ballad, Avril Lavigne casually drops some really bad advice for the girls listening.
Won't you take me by the hand? / Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are / But I... I'm with you"
Maybe don't go off with a stranger you met on a bridge. It's rarely going to end as romantic as she makes it seem.
3. Don't Sit Down ('Cause I Moved Your Chair) - Arctic Monkeys
Arctic Monkeys frontman Alex Turner has some pretty good advice for you -- He really wants you to avoid sitting down, because he moved your chair. The problem is he takes this advice so seriously that every other dangerous action known to man is apparently fine by him. According to this song, as long as you don't sit down on that moved chair, you can pretty much get away with anything:
Run with scissors / Bite the lightning / Do the Macarena in the devil's lair/
Those are some pretty bad tips for someone who means well.
4. Guilty Conscience - Eminem
In Guilty Conscience, Eminem tells the story of a few people who have inner battles with themselves, and have to decide whether to listen to Eminem (The Devil) or Dr. Dre (The Angel). While Dre tries to steer them off the bad path, Eminem has some pretty awful tips for them. He suggests shooting people, drugging and raping underaged girls, and stabbing your girlfriend. Unfortunately, the song ends with Dre giving up and joining the bad side, agreeing murder would be a fine idea. So, yeah -- maybe don't take life advice from Eminem.
5. Born To Be Wild - Steppenwolf
This song is all about living dangerously.
Get your motor runnin' / Head out on the highway
Looking for adventure / In whatever comes our way
Looking for adventure just sounds like someone who's looking for trouble. This guy is probably going to go inside a biker bar and call someone a "bitch" and get himself killed. From there, it continues to even more dangerous territory:
Fire all of your guns at once / And explode into space
No way you're not gonna shoot yourself in the face when you fire all your guns at once. And if that doesn't kill you, I'm pretty sure exploding into space will.
6. Afroman- Because I got High (Positive Remix)
Okay, Afroman had some really good advice with this song in 2001. 'Because I Got High' was all about how smoking weed ruined his life and made him accomplish nothing. Too bad in 2014 Afroman decided to record a sequel to this song, this time making it seem like getting high is the best thing ever.
I had problems with glaucoma, but then I got high / Anxiety attacks, but then I got high
The state made revenue, because I got high / They built a school or two, because I got high
All the kids he got off drugs are now rushing to their dealers. Good job, Afroman.
7. Waterfalls - TLC
Don't go chasing waterfalls / Please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to
You don't tell me what to chase, T-Boz! I'll chase whatever I want!