How do you know when you've met "The One"? Just look for these 8 soul-matey characteristics:
1. They Constantly Run Away To Go Brood In Nature
Nothing says "Future Soul Mate" quite like someone with a constant desire to leave their dreary day-to-day lives for huge chunks of time to go sit out on rocks or tree limbs and sigh longingly. This lets you know that they're into nature and the outside world and aren't cooped up in boring routines like jobs or castle stuff, making them ideal for dating. You can go on dates in nature, and stuff.
2. They're Never In The Right Place When They're Needed
Is there anything more boring than a significant other who's always in the right place when people are calling them? The true sign of a fun, spontaneous free-spirit is when they're being called for some reason and they aren't in the room and everyone gasps.
Where are they? I dunno, out exploring or whatever. It's not important. What IS important, though, is that they know there's more important things in life than just being places they're supposed to be.
3. They're Beloved By Wild Animals, Even Extremely Dangerous Ones
My mother always told me, "Never get married to someone expecting you'll be able to change them." Or, in other words, if someone isn't already constantly being nuzzled by tigers and having birds land on their fingers and whistle, it's not gonna start happening after you start dating them. Just know that.
4. They Point Out Little Stuff In The World You Might Have Missed, But It's Magical
The ideal mate should be able to notice and point out little things along the ground or in nature that ordinary norm-o schlubs don't care about, like fireflies and shit. If someone notices and enjoys fireflies, or chuckles at a little chipmunk that tries to grab a seed and messes up, they're probably awesome and you should date them.
5. They Just Want Something...More. You Wouldn't Understand
Why would you ever settle for a lover who's content with their current, non-magical situation? Wouldn't you rather date someone who just wants... something more?
And if you ask, "More what?" you're probably not meant to be together. There's just GOT to be something out there -- some adventure, something magical... ahhh you wouldn't understand.
6. They Disobey the Shit Out Their Dads
To be fair, their dads are usually being really unreasonable. But the dads love them and they're just worried about them, ever since their mother died they just... they see so much of their mother in them...
Anyway, date someone who's their own person, not their father's puppet (especially if the father is also the puppet of an evil magical dude who can turn people into hypnotized puppets.)
7. They LOVE Doing Small Goofy Things and Laughing, Like Flicking Water at Someone
Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone who's all serious?? Keep an eye out for the person's sense of humor, which they'll demonstrate by, like, splashing a little water at a person and giggling, or splashing a little water at an animal and giggling. The key element here is giggling. Also splashing water.
8. Also They're Really Hot
Well, just, obviously.
GIFs by Ryan Creamer.