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This is fine! For the best. Totally. Okay. You can't even finish this sentence before the hit of ...


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Mourn the death of the relationship and the future you planned together. Add alcohol. Repeat.



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Okay, mourning over. Grab your freakum dress and f-me pumps  (or your clothing preference equivalent) and celebrate your newfound singlehood. Add alcohol and friends. Repeat.



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That bartender looks JUST like your ex ... if they were 10 years older, had face tattoos, and a nose job.




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You two just didn't work out! You both just weren't compatible and in a place to be in a serious relationship right now. Time to move o--



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WAIT WHAT.

The person formerly known as "I'm just not looking for anything serious right now" is all over social media with a new love interest only a week after your breakup? Did they cheat? Does this mean they cheated on their previous ex with you? So everything was just a lie then, huh! You are just THAT easy to get over. Cool cool cool.


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Who is this new person? How do they already have so many photos together? How do they look so happy? What's so much better about this relationship than your relationship? THEY'RE MEETING THE PARENTS ALREADY?! THEY MUST BE OVERCOMPENSATING, RIGHT?!



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Whatever. Maybe they cheated. Maybe they didn't. Who cares. Your life is better without 'em.

 

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Your ex has a sixth sense for knowing when you have gotten over them. Their rebound relationship must have ended 'cause you got that "Hey, I'm sorry for how things ended. Coffee?"

 

If you say no, achieve ...

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You finally did it!!! Now repeat with someone new.

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