Not all songs are meant to be as timeless, but those timely songs sure are hilarious in retrospect.
Mobile phones are an amazing invention for everyone who's ever waited by the phone, or in Britney's case, the computer screen. A melodramatic ballad about a pen pal who won't write back becomes even sillier when the communication is via email.
Particularly bad lyrics:
It's been hours seems like days / Since you went away
And all I do is check the screen / To see if you're okay
This song about a 13 year-old hooking up with a secret Internet lover should have been the mom's anthem for internet safety. Since the stigma against online dating has declined since the song's release, the secrecy aspect has only gotten creepier with time.
Here in my room we are one
Hours connect / as we switch on
She's my best kept secret / my internet girl
This fun song about cybersex disturbingly targeted to 14 year-olds has aged into a fun, technologically-outdated song about cybersex for nostalgic adults. Even though long-distance sex is more relevant than ever (shout-out to the Skype relationships out there), the song's specific technology references just don't hold up.
I can't wait to get you on the phone girl
So pick it up babe
I can see everything you do
Bouncin me from satellite to satellite
Not even all of Beyonce's songs are timeless. "Bug a Boo" is a comically outdated look at tech harassment. The phone company MCI was bought out by Verizon in 2006, and "Have AOL make my email stop" is something only a flustered grandmother would say now.
Particularly bad lyrics:You make me wanna throw my pager out the windowTell MCI to cut the phone callsBreak my lease so I can moveCause you a bug a boo, a bug a booI wanna put your number on the call blockHave AOL make my email stop
Multiple-hit-wonders Bowling for Soup painted a picture of the most badass girl, but this "rocker with a nose ring" is rocking some seriously unfashionable electronics.
She likes the Godsmack and I like Agent Orange
Her CD changer's full of singers that are mad at their dad
Honorable lyric: "She wears a two-way, but I'm not quite sure what that means." Girl had a pager, but the confusion over the term is still applicable.
Aw, remember when Chris Brown was relevant? Back when he wasn't known for domestic abuse, he sung cheesy Bieber-esque songs that referenced Myspace. Simpler times.
Put me on your screen saver / all over your Myspace
And make me one of your top favorites / that's where I want to be
"Technologic" is a very catchy song that is (appropriately) only as relevant as the technology they reference. Their very similar song "Harder Better Faster Stronger" avoided referencing technology that would soon become obsolete, but even that song was made quickly outdated by that darn viral video.
Particularly bad lyrics:Load it check it quick - rewrite it,Plug it, play it, burn it, rip it,Drag and drop it, zip - unzip it
Britney gets the well-deserved honor of gracing this list twice. This song about phonesex includes every outdated phone reference imaginable: star 69, ringtones, and roaming charges.
Particularly bad lyrics:And I like my bluetooth buttons comin' loose / I need my hands free then I let my mind roamPlaying with my ringtone / He got service, I got service, baby, we can talk all night
To Trey Songz's credit, there's no way this song was created with any intention to be relevant a year after its release.
All of them?