Some advice for anyone who thinks "I'm a gentleman" is a really sexy opener: remember to throw in that you have an impressive sword collection and that your mom's basement has a waterbed.

Also, talk about that one time you drank a 2L bottle of Mountain Dew and couldn't get to sleep until at least 11:30 p.m.

Also, don't follow any of this advice.

1.

undefined

via TahoeSnow

2.

undefined

via asvpxvossen

3.

undefined

via NeophytePoser

4.

undefined

via asvpxvossen

5.

undefined

via flump_er