The parents in Ferris Buellers Day Off

They (Lyman Ward and Cindy Pickett, if anyone's interested) met on the set of Ferris Bueller's Day Off and were eventually wed, which is pretty sweet. They went together so well as fake married people that they became REAL married people. And just like any parents who were that oblivious towards the lives of their children and intruders breaking into their homes, they eventually got divorced in real life.

Sex stuff they probably did: some weird stuff with that dummy Ferris left in his bed.



Ted Danson and Whoopi Goldberg

I think all you need to know about this relationship is that - at the roast of Whoopi Goldberg - Ted Danson did the following things (WHILE HE WAS DATING HER, MIND YOU):

  • Donned blackface
  • Repeatedly used the n-word
  • Ate a watermelon on-stage


Seems like a cool guy to date. Oh, and he also described sex with Whoopi by saying it was like "throwing a hotdog down a hallway."

Sex stuff they probably did: Something really offensive and degrading I imagine, IF THAT'S THE SHIT TED DANSON WAS DOING IN PUBLIC.



Madonna and Tupac

Madonna has a weird list of exes, which include Warren Beatty, Dennis Rodman, Guy Ritchie, and (possibly) Sandra Bernhard. But none is quite as jarring as Tupac Shakur - one of the world's greatest rappers and definitely in the top 10 holograms of all-time.

Sex stuff they probably did: Plotted out how Tupac would fake his death so that he could go out in a blaze of glory instead of sadly fading away into irrelevancy over time and become a husk of their former greatness, because wow that would be so sad, right Madonna?



Michael Keaton and Courteney Cox

I still wish she would have chosen Richard.

Sex stuff they probably did: she made him scream "I'm Batman!" while he made her scream her famous Friends catchphrase "I'm the neurotic one!" Then they swam in a pile of money and celebrated how they would be this famous forever.



Lisa Kudrow and Conan OBrien

Speaking of Friends cast members who dated pasty white dudes in the 90s, Lisa Kudrow and Conan O'Brien! They met doing improv in LA, and it was O'Brien who encouraged her to go into acting.

Sex stuff they probably did: just normal stuff, but Andy Richter was watching through a peephole.