1. This is absolutely the funniest thing that will come out of The Emoji Movie (which - reminder - is a REAL THING THAT IS HAPPENING)
slap me at the popcorn calendar pic.twitter.com/TjjGffFKLR-- ° Will Wiesenfeld ° (@BATHSmusic) May 18, 2017
2. To be fair, his bit about the decadence of America the Great Satan is pretty solid.
God damn, Netflix will give ANYONE a standup special! pic.twitter.com/ehWQzQg5mW-- Pixelated Boat (@pixelatedboat) May 19, 2017
3. Twitter is Hell for brands, but amazing for the rest of us.
Twitter rules pic.twitter.com/zgP4osValk-- glenn (@PornUniversity) May 9, 2017
4. This should be the answer to every puzzle.
SUCK IT DORK pic.twitter.com/gskSgZR8XW-- Twiττer's Good Boy (@twitersgoodboy) May 9, 2017
6. This is the most accurate description that has ever been uttered.
are we gonna talk about how baby sting rays look like haunted ravioli pic.twitter.com/nQEQoiyhdZ-- rae paoletta (@PAYOLETTER) May 9, 2017
7. UGH I CAN'T FIND THE BARCODE ON THIS THING
Unexpected item in the bagging area pic.twitter.com/kbYuWfjEnG-- robin floof☻ (@xeropls) May 10, 2017
8. Close enough.
she means break a leg.. pic.twitter.com/0bpyJTd1uW-- Lourdes (@gossipgriII) May 8, 2017
9. Damn, nostalgia really is great.
aww yeah the 90s are back baby!-- Lana Del Raytheon (@LanaDelRaytheon) May 13, 2017
-disintegration of the welfare state
-cruise missile strikes
10. Pssst, no one tell anyone who's really into "red pilling" that the directors of the movie that's from literally transitioned to women.
This paragraph honestly needs to be framed and put in a museum pic.twitter.com/GgNkqB3pZx-- Ayatollah Cumonme (@Phonycian) May 12, 2017
11. Now it's time to murder Carmen Sandiego.
we got the bastard pic.twitter.com/kIRYB7tYzx-- Goth Ms. Frizzle (@spookperson) May 19, 2017
12. We've all been one of these three.
There are three kinds of tweeters pic.twitter.com/iIehafbg4K-- Etan Weisfogel (@EtanHeytan) May 16, 2017
Surprise motherfucker pic.twitter.com/LEPDW4cerR-- _theblessedone (@_the_blessedone) May 16, 2017