Journalist Kurt Eichenwald is known for a lot of things - his virulent anti-Trump stance, his history with The New York Times and Newsweek, an odd incident last year where he was sent into an epileptic seizure due to a .GIF of a strobe light being sent to him via Twitter, and now...for accidentally revealing to the world he casually browses hentai.
While tweeting about some hate mail he had received, Kurt took a photo of the offensive piece and happened to have his computer screen in the background, with a browser open. And one of the tabs open in the browser was a site called "B-Chiku."
Someone caught wind of the odd site name, and after some minimal research, it becomes blindingly obvious that Kurt was just casually browsing hentai and broadcasting it to the world. For those unaware, "hentai" is:
a subgenre of the Japanese genres of manga and anime, characterized by overtly sexualized characters and sexually explicit images and plots
Which basically boils down to "EXTREMELY perverted anime." Like, imagine what you THINK is perverted anime, then go look up some hentai. YEAH, IT'S MOSTLY THAT BAD.
Hell, someone even was able to find the specific image Kurt was looking at, and it is....well, it's certainly hentai. We absolutely cannot link to it here, but if you know how to use Google, you can probably find it (although we don't really recommend it).
hey which tag was it that hooked you, Kurt? pic.twitter.com/aLU6XBnZam-- hockey cuck (@taliasturm) June 8, 2017
Hours and hours went by with the internet making fun of Kurt and his newfound predilection for hentai, but eventually he logged back on with an explanation for what had happened:
...some to show her it was real. But I couldn't find any - & ended up w/ this. My family reads my twitter feed, so they know this is true.-- Kurt Eichenwald (@kurteichenwald) June 8, 2017
...diff would it make? Seriously, while I don't see the appeal of cartoon parn, porn is a multi-billion industry. Pple obviously look at it.-- Kurt Eichenwald (@kurteichenwald) June 8, 2017
So....yeah. His explanation is essentially "My adult sons and I were casually talking about tentacle porn with my wife, and we tried to find tentacle porn but could not, so I opened up some hentai instead."
...which makes no sense at all. If he really wanted to prove tentacle porn was "a thing," it's literally as simple as googling the term "tentacle porn" and showing her literally anything that shows up. Or, if he's trying to be more informative about the artform, just open up the Wikipedia link, which is the SECOND result in Google when typing in "tentacle porn."
How he got from "trying to explain tentacle porn to my wife" to "just a random piece of hentai on my computer while I was doing other stuff" requires several leaps in logic for his explanation to hold any level of believability. The more likely explanation? Kurt Eichenwald has a fetish for hentai - which is fine. People have fetishes, there's no shame in that. What there IS shame in is spinning an insane, ridiculous lie that hinges on you trying to convince the internet that you don't know how Google works and find hentai that involves no tentacles as an adequate replacement for tentacle porn.
But Kurt was not done digging himself into a hole, going on to offer DEFINITIVE PROOF that he wasn't making up an elaborate nonsensical story to excuse the presence of hentai on his computer:
No one hacked my account. We were searching to prove to my wife tentacle porn exists. See text convo. I only removed names and drug names. pic.twitter.com/EMHYlYKcPf-- Kurt Eichenwald (@kurteichenwald) June 8, 2017
And it ALMOST ended there (save for a few stray replies of him explaining his adult sons had been reading about tentacle porn's rise as a result of World War II), but Kurt came so so SO close to coming clean. He later deleted this tweet (for obvious reasons), but we had it saved in a slack channel conversation here:
Again, so SO close to just saying "I was looking at hentai - so what?" Which still would have had some level of embarrassment attached to it, but you can at least respect someone willing to be frank about their fetishes.
well the story checks out pic.twitter.com/5xOUhD0md1-- Gregory Cat-Botherer (@cat_beltane) June 8, 2017
can we all sit back & take in how incredible it is that kurt eichenwald has managed impossible feat of breaking through the comey news cycle-- Oliver Darcy (@oliverdarcy) June 8, 2017
Underrated part of the Kurt Eichenwald monitor pic: the 60 point font in the other browser window. pic.twitter.com/O2GTCUhcYv-- Stefan (@boring_as_heck) June 8, 2017
*kurt eichenwald posts pic of his fridge, revealing expired tub of mayo*-- KRANG T. NELSON (@KrangTNelson) June 8, 2017
KURT: it's not what you think. my large sons & I jerk off with it
So Kurt Eichenwald has been fighting the alt right and now he's into anime porn. Stare into the abyss and the abyss stares into you-- Woko Haram (@Wokieleaksalt) June 8, 2017
Kurt Eichenwald is the most George Costanza-ass motherfucker that has ever lived-- Alex Navarro (@alex_navarro) June 8, 2017
Of course, Kurt isn't the first journalist to accidentally reveal his tastes in porn over Twitter in the last year - Josh Marshall of Talking Points Memo mistakenly posted a link to PornHub attached to a comment about Donald Trump right at the end of 2016. For some reason, he has STILL not deleted that tweet.
Anyways, good luck with your hentai, Kurt.
Wow. Just checked back in. Still getting trolled hard. At least this time it's funny and I deserve it for setting this off myself.-- Kurt Eichenwald (@kurteichenwald) June 8, 2017