Why some people think that starting out a conversation with "I love your skin, do you need your skin? Let me wear your skin" is a good way to find a partner, we'll never know.

But, that's what we get for signing up for DatingoftheLambs.com.

And Bill, if you're reading this, please stop asking about my body measurements. 

1. *Takes hard step backwards*

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via slambamboozled

2. What a strange egg. 

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via TheTributeThrowaway

3. Ugh, telling people about your dreams is so boring. 

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via Grobur

4. If you type to someone that they're your gf, it's contractually binding.

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via imabuscus

5. Happy 1 month, my future kidnapped bride!

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via CoreMcClair

6. I KNOW WHAT YOU LIKE BECAUSE I AM MAN.

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via throwawooga

7. It puts the lotion on the skin (and then goes out on a date).

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via pathologicallylate

8. What a lovely poem.

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via Grobur

9. I think he's watched too much porn about pizza delivery drivers, because uhh, no dude.

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via weatherexp

10. Nothing more romantic than a guy admitting he wants to kidnap you. 

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via creepyPMs

11. At least he's honest. 

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via Caught_On_fire99

12. No matter how far you drift apart, it will never be far enough, my good man.

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via VeedleDee

13. Fucking disgusting, I hate sunflower seed milk ice cream.

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via skepticetoh