Forget paying a $5 cover or meeting a drink minimum, these standup jokes are brought directly to your lazy asses, free of charge. What more could you ask for?
1. Pete Stegemeyer
And they both end with a disgusting feeling of regret.
2. James Etchison
Kraft, get on this idea.
3. Nicky Bernal
Disney, you dogs.
4. Kevin Ward
I bet it is. Like, I will literally bet you.
5. Zac Townsend
Shots fired. Your move, Applebees.
6. Tommy Gill
Depressing but uplifting at the same time. My emotions are torn.
7. John Dick Winters
Also, my dad's all about both.
8. Jen O'Donnell
Oh damn. That's just plain evil.
9. Bennett Brown
A Titty Tornado ravages the titties and the surrounding appendages.
This is what happens when your best friend names their dog your future child's name.