If you give money to a homeless person and don't immediately tell everyone on social media, does it even count as goodwill?
I mean, afterall, if you don't constantly talk about your accomplishments, how will people know you're a brilliant angel with the modesty of Mother Teresa and the sex drive of a GOD?!
1. Ugh, I'm perfect but not PERFECT perfect #notfair.
2. Wow, this must be really hard for you.
3. My ego is as tiny as my waistline, that's why I'm telling you all of this :)
4. I'm a BIG man and I do the sex GOOD!
5. I BASICALLY saved this man's life with Salt and Vinegar chips.
6. Oh, forgetful little me!
7. I'm so generous, I basically BELONG in the bible.
8. God, I wish I was a dumb fucking idiot like you guys!
9. I'm so good at so many things, can you believe I actually made a mistake?!
10. It's the little things in life that make me the greatest person alive!
11. "I'm so embarrassed, let me tell everyone about it!"
12. You know I'm a good person because I'm telling you that I am right now.
We like you. Do you like us too?