Teaching is hard, and lots of great people rise to the challenge and change a lot of young lives....These are not those people. The nice people at AskReddit had people share the stories of teachers who probably should have been fired and let's just say it was a real learning experience. Without further ado, heres:


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1. Captain_Vegetable's teacher liked to have a good time. 

He brought a thermos with more whiskey than coffee to work every day. By early afternoon he'd be a reeking, slurring mess.


2. VIP_KILLA's didn't really know how the human body worked. 

Had a Human Anatomy and Physiology teacher that said you get muscle cramps because your muscles dry up and rub against your bones.

3. OIiver 

When a fight broke out in the classroom our maths teacher screamed in the most panicked, fearful screech "SOMEONE GET A TEACHER"

4. ztwunder went AWOL to Iceland. 

When my teacher decided to spend the last month of the quarter in Iceland on vacation without telling us he was leaving. He then decided he didn't want to grade any assignments before final grades were due to the school so he gave every student a B in the class regardless of if they did any work or not.

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5. _Green_Kyanite_ had a teacher who didn't like snackers. 

My 5th grade teacher, despite knowing I had a blood sugar condition and needed to eat regularly to manage it, went on a personal campaign to ban snack from her classroom.

When that didn't work, she tried to have my food deemed a medication and force me to eat it in the school nurse's office.

When that didn't work, she didn't let me call my mom the ONE time I forgot my snack (I wasn't more than eleven years old,) openly mocked me in front of the entire class, then grabbed me by the arm when I ran out of the room crying, dragged me to the Special Ed room, and snarled,"This is where people likeyoubelong!"

She also yelled at me when I reported being physically assaulted on school grounds, for "making a big deal over nothing." And made me use a scantron on a state standardized test, despite knowing that "no scantrons" was on my IEP, and then used my poor scores (from fucking up the scantron, I was actually gifted) to argue I was "retarded" and needed to be held back a grade.

But she had tenure and my school was afraid of the teacher's union, so of course nothing happened to her even after my parents raised hell.


6. JuicedBananas's teacher was pushing illegal ice cream on her student's . 

Last year my Spanish teacher sold ice cream in her class for a dollar per bar. They were a Mexican ice cream bar called paletas that she got from a local guy. The school told her that she wasn't allowed to sell them in her class but she continued to do so for a while after until they found out she was still doing it. She even told us that she had been told not to and that we needed to keep quiet about it.

Also one day she had a substitute and kids just took them without paying all day. She lost like $200 worth of ice cream.



7. dubsteponmycat's teacher liked to have a snack in the morning. 

I had a teacher spend the first 20 minutes of every class just eating his oatmeal while he let us do anything. I told my mom and she was furious about it. Called the school and everything. He stopped eating oatmeal after that and actually taught us stuff.

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8. Barf_LoneStarr's teacher tried to start a nickname. 

Oh, man I finally have a good one. Hope this doesn't get buried...but I had a teacher that once instructed the female students in his class to call him "Math Daddy". After realizing this didn't sound creepy enough, he corrected himself by saying "Actually, no. You can call me BIG DADDY." Hands down the creepiest thing I've ever heard a teacher say.

9. ddfdfuh's was not discreet. 

"Ms. ___, May I please use the restroom?"

"No"

"Ms. I really need to use the restroom."

"Oh right, I remember now, I got your doctor's note. Go ahead."

Most heartbreakingly embarrassed look I've ever seen

Ms. ___ had a habit of doing stuff like this.



10. Angry_Sapphic's teacher didn't know what a sheep was. 

Shouted that cows and sheep are the same animal, and that both "are GMOs!", and also showed us a video of an entire dead chicken being blended in a high-quality blender. Note: He was not vegetarian. He was just insane. He still works at that school, as the only health teacher





11. ghost_snail's teacher was not in the right profession. 

I had an English lit teacher who introduced himself as someone who doesn't like reading "because it's boring and takes too long". He spoke broken English, kept interchanging Poe and Shakespeare, and doesn't know a lot of the supposed "classics". He tended to talk more about himself and give unsolicited life advice (usually religious and conservative) in class than teach. He also lectured us several times to not tell others about how shitty the school actually is so people will still enroll. Sometimes students ask him questions about the lesson and he'd usually reply with a sarcastic "didn't you listen?" or "why don't you google it yourself?".

I was genuinely interested in the class so I was pissed at him. Moreso when that fucker gave me failing grades.

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12. Verhie8173's teacher partook. 

Had a substitute french teacher come in and talk to us for 45 minutes about how "weed is a magical plant" and "[we] should respect it". Very clearly stoned.



13.  EasternmostBosnia...WAS THE TEACHER! 

A student at my school walked in on a male teacher (who was in a relationship with another teacher at the school) banging a (married) female teacher up the arse over a desk at the back of a classroom, about 2 hours after the school day ended.

The student took 100 quid in exchange for his silence.

I know this because I was the male teacher who handed over the cash. I left the school of my own accord 18 months later. The lady in question is still there and has "worked" her way up to a leadership position.

Throwaway account for obvious reasons.