We all have those moments. The ones that keep us lying awake in the middle of the night 10 years later, wondering how we could be so stupid and awkward. But hey, it's likely nobody who was there even remembers that time...right? Please? Everyone has moved on, right?!
1. Algernonishbee on having your priorities straight
That time I was hanging out with a cute girl from school, and she said to me "what are you gonna do having this hot girl you could kiss next to you?". I pulled out my phone and started playing Tetris. Fuck you 13 y/o algernonishme.
2. nochickflickmoments on making sure you always check the calendar before agreeing to go out with someone
When I was 13 and a boy I liked asked me out. I said yes and he said, "April Fools". Fuck you Robert
3. boyvsfood makes a compelling argument for not gaming with family
My nephew in law and I were playing Xbox online. He said he was gonna go real quick and take my niece in law to get breadsticks. He put his headset down and proceeded to have sex with my niece in law. I heard about 11 seconds before I realized for sure what was going on.
4. Sometimes you're just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Like yeahhhmuffins
On my birthday in 8th grade, I got to school in the morning and the 9th grade girls were all standing around with a cake that read "Happy birthday yeahhhmuffins!". I was super excited because I was new to the school and they were the popular/pretty girls.
In the middle of my thank you act, a 9th grade boy who's first name is also yeahhhmuffins walked up and I realised the cake was for him. Everyone was too embarrassed to say anything so I just kind of shuffled off. It still hurts inside 18 years later.
5. trabeeb reminds us why shared family computers were a constant cringe factory
The time my mom caught me reading Harry Potter erotica on the shared family computer. I just minimized the internet browser when I got up to go to the bathroom for a minute, not thinking she would choose that exact moment to get online to check her email.
6. BillyNoMates12's advice to all you kiddos out there : don't be the most oblivious person on the planet
Sophmore in high school. Girl in my gym class comes up to me and starts flirting. Only problem is, I have no fucking clue that she's actually flirting. So we're talking back and forth about who knows what, but this part really sticks out in my memory. We start talking about our friends and she moves in close to me, looks at me with puppy dog eyes and says, "I don't have many friends." I stupidly say back, "That sucks" and leave it at that. Like, how can my dumbass self leave that fucking soft serve of a pickup line up, just so it falls right back to Earth. She set me up and I whiffed it like an idiot
I think about how dumb I was that day and it still haunts me
7. Don't create avoidable awkward situations for yourself like PersikovsLizard
I kind of licked my lips "sexily" to my history teacher in 10th grade for no reason. I was/am a somewhat nerdy guy, he was a somewhat nerdy, straight, married man. There was no reason, none. Something just made me do it.
He was pretty weirded out and my friend was also like "what the hell was that?" and I muttered that my lips felt dry. They left it at that, my brain did not (18 yrs later...)
8. Sometimes....you just need to chill. Lookin' at you Platypus211
When I was 14, in 8th grade, I gave the history teacher who I was madly in love with a letter on the last day of school telling him what a wonderful teacher he was, how much he inspired me, etc. I didn't come right out and say "I love you, please let me have your babies", but it was very strongly implied. At the end I included my email address (which was the same as my AIM name, which was also embarrassing given that I was a middle school girl in the early 2000s) and told him to "email me if he ever wanted to talk or anything."
To make things worse, I'd spent the whole year attempting to flirt with him, to the extent that my awkward ass knew how (mostly being friendly and finding out his favorite candy and showing up for class with it once in awhile).
I still feel bad for the poor guy- I can only imagine how uncomfortable a man in his mid-30s would be with a couple of seriously underage girls trying to hit on him. My best friend liked him too and I'm pretty sure she was even more obvious.
9. CHECK THE PERIMETER FIRST, jonlam562
Very young at the movies with my girlfriend. Decides to give me head. There was no one else but us as far as I knew...
Next thing you know a manager lady sneaks up outta nowhere, tells us to cut it out, tells me to zip up and show her that we have tickets... After we did all this she left. I looked around and saw an older couple with a kid just mad dogging me.
I left and just wanted to run home.
God dammit the cringe is killing me KILL ME NOW UGH.
10. Honestly, this is probably the least awkward way to have handled this, wvynk
When pressed by kids on my bus in middle school to give a response as to who in our row of the bus I would have sex with if I had to have sex with someone I said "myself" without even knowing that was possible/that masturbation was a thing especially for girls.
11. Sorry, fanwagonband people definitely still remember this
About 15 at the time, I was visiting my home town after about 3 years away. I was kindly invited to a house party at my friend's place. I didn't know many people, but my friend was being really nice and introducing me to everyone. I felt like I was starting to fit in and get to know people. Next minute, it turns out someone had stepped in dog poo and was spreading it around the house. It started to smell pretty bad. We were walking around asking everyone who did it, and then someone proceed to point and my shoe which was covered in dog shit.
Everyone started laughing at me and saying how gross it was. I didn't know what to do so ran out of the house! My friend came and consoled me. It's actually pretty sad now that I think about it.
12. Gotta respect the hustle of lobotumi
When i was 9 and in grade school i lost my voice after music lessons. I got to stay home a day playing video games and next day when i could speak they sent me back to school, so young me thought that it would be nice to stay home and drink hot chocolate entire day. So when recess came i went to nearby woods and yelled like a moose untill teacher came to me asking "wtf are you doing lobotumi?" jesusithurtstothink
13. Next time just throw rice at them penny_laneee
I was around 13 and asked to sing when you wish upon a star at my aunts wedding. I got about halfway through and went blank. I tried to sort of play it off but at that point I was so off key. It was just a mess. Everyone tried to console me afterwards and tell me I did great but I was mortified. Turns out it was all recorded on video too. It's documented forever. I'll never watch that video.
14. NomadicWordsmith choosing the wrong time and the wrong place
I went to my ex girlfriend's brother's funeral. He had a severe disability and died very young. I loved him, he was a nice guy. At the funeral, a mutual friend asked where my brother was. He did not attend the funeral, as he was off being not awkward somewhere. In my infinite wisdom, I responded "oh he's fuckin dead," because I forgot where I was. It was just a general response in my friend group, like you would say that just because you thought you were being edgy. Oh man. That one sticks with me.