Don't buy into this stock family looking all wholesome and sweet. They're all kinky sex freaks just like the rest of us. 

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Family may do the best job out of all humanity at concealing the fact that they are sexual beings, but sometimes - times that will forever be burned into our brains, there are cracks in the facade and we see everyone in our family is just as weird and horny as the rest of the world.

1. Horny relatives leads to a steady cash flow, says ShitInMyCunt-2dollar

My aunty rang my best mate (who was mowing her lawns during that time) and asked him to fuck her. He declined. It's good because even though I don't see her often, she usually slips me 50 bucks. I figure it's her way of saying STFU.

2.  Parents, c'mon now. Think of the children. Think of Superhero1582

There was a time when my family lived in a tiny apartment. We had one bedroom with a double deck bed. My parents slept on the bottom bunk and my older sister and I slept at the top. Well, one night I wake up to the bed shaking and peeking below I realized my parents were having sex, I was like maybe 8 or 9 so I wasn't really grossed out but just really confused. My sister slept through the entire thing, or so I've always thought.

3. Cash rules everything around kwyjibo8

I let my stepsister and her friends see me naked when I was younger for $5. Seeing the other gender nude wasn't a mouse click away...it was hard work and you wondered about things. And $5? That's when you could get stuff done for $5.00. That was a couple packs of baseball cards, a slice of pizza with a soda and several games of Donkey Kong or Asteroids Deluxe at the pizza place down the street from my house.

4. Each sentence makes it worse and worse, i_fucked_up300

I walked in on my aunt. Having sex. With someone who's not my uncle. In my grandma's bed. At my Grandpa's funeral.

5. BigMacML getting a gift from a family member that isn't a gift card or socks

My uncle is a pimp in Gambia. He's originally from England. My cousin once went to stay with him, towards the end of his first night there he was told he had a 'present' waiting for him in bed. Goes upstairs to find a young lady completely naked lay across the bed. Not sure how long she'd been waiting.....

6. Katies_new_throwaway knows how to stir the family pot

My brother walked in on me giving his friend a blowjob, which resulted in lots of drama.

7. This one fuckin takes the cake. Oh man, ALLSTARTRIPOD

Whilst on holiday a few years back, I was fuckin' around with my girlfriends camera whilst she was in the shower.
I was laying on the bed butt naked with my dick resting on my stomach (pointing towards my face). I stuck a pair of sunglasses on the base of my penis and found it highly amusing that my dick now looks like a nose.
So I took a photo. And forgot about it.
Some time passes and Christmas rolls round.
My partners sister got a new camera for christmas, but didn't have an SD card. So we found a 'spare' one and let her use it.
She's spent Christmas day taking pictures of everyone and everything, and eager to show off her photography, after christmas dinner, hooked her camera up to the big screen TV in the living room. All of my girlfriends family was there.
As they flicked through all of the christmas photos, she scrolled one further and bam. A close up of my dick, panned across the living room TV, In glorious 1080p resolution for 3 generations of her family to see.

8. Freudian slips will getcha like they got unhingedplatypus

Picked up a buddy of mine from his family reunion. As we walked out, he turned around and shouted, "Bye guys, thanks for all the cock!" Then everyone turned and looked at him in horror, and his face turned bright red in embarrassment. "I mean CAKE!"

I should mention he was from a very strict Catholic family.

9. W1GG3R informing the people of the good news

I shouted out loud that my dad's penis was huge, at an olive garden. I was four, Dad Dick syndrome had me pretty good.

10. Learn from MrThunderkat, never let someone "just be themselves"

My uncles new wife was meeting the family for the first time and after a glass of wine she asks if she can be herself, everyone said yes then she asked my then 71 year old grandpa if he sit at home watching porn and jacking off all day

11. Ahhh finally. A good ol' fashioned poop story. Waited to long for that. Thx generationsofleaves

Growing up, my brother and I used to share a room. Anyway, one night I get woken up by moaning and sounds of pain. I look over and my brother rolls out of bed clutching his stomach and runs out the room. Now imagine a chubby 9 year old wearing nothing but loose boxers hobbling/sprinting down the hall. I'm hit with this foul, foul smell, and I look down and there is a trail of wet splattery poop EVERYWHERE.

Brother finishes running, slams into the bathroom, and you can almost hear the sigh of relief....Except there wasn't. Turns out when he went to relieve his shitty bowels, he had nothing left. Best part was that he didn't realise where the poop had gone until he walked out the bathroom to see his shitty legacy spread out behind him.

Oh and fun fact, we had extended family staying over that time, notably the hot cousin he was crushing on

12. Secrets secrets are no fun unless they're shared withe everyone, Telling-who

I was housesitting for my grandparents many moons ago, and I had to get a fresh sheet. When I lifted the first one, lo and behold, there was my grandmother's vibrator.

I kept that secret for years.

When I eventually told my mom about it her only reaction was "your grandfather is impotent." I was weirded out, but now I just laugh about it.

13. FOTBWN learned a valuable lesson: never do anything nice for anybody

Thought it would be a good idea to make breakfast for my dad and step mum. Cooked it all, got it ready and bought the plates in and thought bringing it in unannounced would be a wonderful surprise.

I was not greeted by smiles.

Instead I was presented by an image that is forever burnt into my mind, my dad under the covers obviously plugging away with my step mum's head hanging off the side of the bed with her eyes closed and showing me her O face. I retreated quickly but my brain went "well better put that in permanent storage and make it one of the clearest memories possible. Don't worry, you won't be forgetting any detail at all."

14. ilyenia gonna be playing it a little safer going forward I imagine

I was helping my (then) boyfriend's sister move into a new place, and the keys were at the new house, and someone needed to go get them.

So my boyfriend and I drove over to get them. While we were there, we did a little exploring of the new empty house.

We realized there was an attic, and opened the ceiling door to let the steps down.

I climbed up first, and being in a skirt, gave my boyfriend a nice view.

We ended up having sex right there on the attic ladder, and right in the middle we hear the door open, boyfriends name called out, a pause, and then the door shut.

We sheepishly return to the rest of the family at the old house, to find his sister trying not to laugh hysterically.

She says their mother came over to try to find out what was taking so long. Upon her return, she just loudly exclaimed "THEY WERE FUCKING."

To this day it's our favorite phrase to exclaim.