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Being a pizza delivery dude is no ones dream job. Maybe it pays your bills or gives you a little extra spending cash when you're younger, but overall -- it sucks. Why exactly does the job suck? Well, take a gander at these stories from 13 former delivery drivers and see for yourself. And remember to tip tip tip the next time you order out.

1. Rebound91 -- I think I would've bolted after the 2nd HOW OLD ARE YOU

In my first month delivering pizzas as an awkward teenager in suburban San Diego, I pulled up to a house and got out, toting 5 pizzas to the door of a very unassuming house. As I approached the door, I could see someone turn off the lights to the front room and I got a bit scared. I had heard the stories of drivers getting jumped and robbed of their tip money so instantly my mind goes to that. I walk slowly to the door and ring the bell. After a few seconds I hear somebody behind the door ask, "How old are you?" I answered, "Pizza Hut..." Then I heard some muffled laughing. The woman again asks, "How OLD are you?" Reluctantly, I answer, "eighteen?" The door opens slowly and a woman is standing there completely naked with her hands outstretched. My jaw must have hit the ground. Then a flash of light from a camera behind her and a room full of guys bursts into laughter. Turns out it was a bachelor party. I got a good laugh but never did see the pic that was taken.

2. ZenOfTheTeemo ran into what may be one of the most thoughtful little 4 year olds.

I've been delivering for 2 years, and surprisingly haven't had any awkward situations, but there was this one little kid who answered the door, he was probably about 4, for his mom. he brought the receipt to his mom to sign, and when he brought it back, he said "here, my mom doesn't tip so I will!" and he gave me this crumpled up dollar from his pocket.

3. WadeWilsonforPope describes what is probably every delivery driver's nightmare.

I had to fight a guy off after delivering a pizza. He was very drunk and thought I was a taxi so he kept on trying to get in my car. I literally kicked him out of the passenger side and sped off into the night passenger door open until the next hard right.

4. onlysame1 -- creepy as hell, but hey $10 tip.

Once had a delivery to a house that was in one of the rich neighborhoods. I pull up to the house, drive down a long-ass driveway, and when I finally get to the door, I see an envelope taped to it. There is nothing written on it except "Domino's" on one side, and "leave on doorstep" on the other. Inside is enough money to cover the pizza and a $10 tip. I look around kind of awkwardly, before setting the pizzas on the doormat, and putting the money in my pocket. While I'm walking back to my car, I turn back around to look at the house, and lo and behold, the pizzas are no longer on the doormat. I didn't hear a door, and it hadn't been but 4 or 5 seconds since I had turned around. I also notice as I was getting back in my car, that there were cameras all around the perimeter of the house on the walls, painted the same color as the house to blend in. I drove away and not a single fuck was given.

5. flamingsnocone probably complimented so many purses after that.

My first day, first delivery ever. It was to a motel 6. The guy answered wearing red pumps, a purple and black kitty cat thong, and a pink felt blouse. Told him I liked his purse and walked out with a $20 tip :)

6. relytv2 -- family pranks are the best pranks.

Girl answers the door, and yells to her sister, "your boyfriends here". She comes running down in her bra and underwear. Gets to the door sees a confused looking pizza guy so she screams and runs away while yelling profanities at her sister. 

The sister loses it laughing and gives me a $8 tip. Solid deliver 10/10 would deliver again.

7. RoscoePST -- drunk math = good math 

I showed up to deliver a pizza on a hot summer night and the guy who ordered it was passed out flat on his back in the living room just inside the screen door. The TV was blasting so loud he would have had a hard time hearing me knocking and shouting even if he hasn't been unconscious. After about a minute he stirred, got himself up and paid. I think he intended to give me two tens and a one for the $18 pizza, but he was so out of it he gave me two twenties and a five, $27 tip.

8. pmnishi keepin' it classy.

Not a doorstep, but I have delivered pizzas to patrons inside of a strip club. Nice scenery.

9. The idea of taxation is not a new thing. Baffling.

This one lady ordered a sandwich which was just at the 6 dollar minimum for delivery. Total was 5.99 plus tax. Of course I come to the door and its an old lady. I tell her the price is 6.34 and she goes off on a tangent about how it was supposed to be 5.99.

I had to sit there an explain sales tax to her. She shut the door and came back with a calculator and I had to explain to her how to multiply by the tax rate and showed her why it was not 5.99 like her coupon said. Makes you wonder what she does at stores.

10. gene_says_hi could've been murdered, but got lucky.

I'm late to this party but I've got one. 

I'm on a late afternoon delivery during my sophomore year of college (2years ago). I get to this ladys house in a nice neighborhood. Everything is going well so far that day, good people and nice tips, only complaint is the heat. 

I arrive at her house and ring the bell. She answers, seems like a normal lady. She says a phrase that makes most drivers a bit on edge, "Go ahead and come on in". Normally I just opt to wait outside but I quietly judged that in a pinch I could probably take this lady, and so I enter. 

House is nice, clean and huge. I'm waiting for her to come downstairs with the money and I notice that she has the same textbook (animal biology) that I do and I mention it. 

"Hey I am in that same class, that's cool. What's your major?" 

She says, "I'm working on a pre-vet degree for wildlife work". 

"That's awesome" I say. Then she hands me the money. She then goes wide-eyed and says the phrase that begins the awkward. 

"You want to see something cool?"

Red flags. But again, I could take her if a struggle ensued so I say," like what?" 

"Come downstairs and I'll show you!" 

Extreme red flags. I'm thinking this could be a rape scenario or a death scenario or a train set scenario or something. So I did the dumb thing and said "sure". 

So down we go into her basement. I'm hesitant and she still won't tell me what to expect. That's when I hear it. Like a slow chainsaw idling. I get to the door at the bottom of the stairs and I look in the room. The source of the noise is on the couch. An adult lynx. Holy shit this thing was HUGE. It had paws the size of dinner plates. 

"Isn't she beautiful?" The lady asked. I squeaked some sort of reply as I was somewhat frozen in fear of this huge cat. Then she called it over. "Come here Janey". Janey? What a weird name I thought, at least for a lynx. Then the beast came over and the lady scratched the ear and the lynx purred. Like a damn Harley revving up. 

Luckily I wasn't eaten. I even was coaxed into touching the lynx. It was wildish, according to the lady. I noped out after a few more minutes.

11. RootMarm -- $70 tip for 2 pizzas aint too shabby.

I was delivering 2 large pizzas to an apartment building one night. The recipient was waiting for me in the lobby. He was staggeringly drunk. Throughout the exchange he was vehemently trying to get me to come back up to his unit with him. I am not sure if he was gay or wanted to kill me and wear my skin, either way I refused. It took way longer than it should have to deliver 2 pizzas and when he finally got to paying, he just handed me $100 bill for the $30 order. He insisted I keep the change and may have winked at me as he said it. I am not positive on the wink though as he was so drunk his eyes were not totally coordinated.

My manager insisted I make an effort to return the absurd tip but attempts to contact him the next couple days were unsuccessful.

12. Blink_Billy interrupted a night of fun.

I once delivered to an apartment where two people in bath robes answered the door, I could see their bondage equipment and garments under their robes.

13. GayForGod -- kinda sweet.

I occasionally had to deliver to a motel 6. As I pulled in there were cop cars everywhere. Fuck me, don't be the person who ordered pizza. Don't be the person who ordered pizza. Fuck me it's definitely the guy. We locked eyes. He was in cuffs, turns around says something to the cop. The cop grabs money off the dresser, I give him the pizza. Decent tip.