The only thing these people should be philosophizing is whether they should stop word-vomiting everything that comes to their head on Twitter. 

But hey, what do we know, we're just sheep who don't even see that real eyes realize real lies.

1. Schrödinger's cat killed itself.

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via gabriey

2. We have become The Internet.

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via risenrubix

3. Delete your personality.

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via _Roth_

4. That psychologist's name was Albert Einstein.

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via ebuttonsdude

5. Infallible logic. 

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via SelfProximity

6. I'm a NICE guy. 

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via Jutlandish

7. You also have to be the lonliest.

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via oakur3

8. I prefer the one that looks like that guy from Nightmare on Elm Street.

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via RevolverQuancelot

9. Dammit, this is why I cheat on you, Topher.

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via topher

10. WAKE UP SHEEPLE.

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via StCol

11. Don't trust anyone, not even YOURSELF!!

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via swordof

12. Dying is too easy if you ask me.

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via zuluhotel

13. Same.

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via Lovexxy

14. All lies should be illegal except for telling me how smart I am.  

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via DavidBittner