1. No traffic down here 

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via TDesmo

2. There's no other option honestly

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via dddooommm

3. This is what we in the biz call being a natural

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via littlefangirl

4. Ah yes, I've studied the bonethugs and harmoniums quite thoroughly

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via wrdb2007

5. If the tweet does not fit, you must acquit

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via FFExtraOrdinaire

6. The codebook for all upstanding gentlemen everywhere

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via DontsteptoMaggieSmith

7. Ever heard of lifetime warranties? No such thing with love my friend.

via thosewomenwereinthenip

8. I'll have the pre-birds over-easy

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via Gnarw0lves

9. Ahhh, simpler times when Tiger Woods was the only bad man we had to talk about

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via DontsteptoMaggieSmith

10. Treat. Yo. Feet.

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via destinysadoptedchild

11. My phone smells like SHIT, so

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via DontsteptoMaggieSmith

12. *they. 

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via NightTrainDan

13. All of these quotes are from an old show that's not even on anymore. Why can't it be new?

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via GeneParmezan