If you're having a mediocre day, these tweets will make it ever-so-slightly better. But also maybe not. Who the hell knows? I don't know you.

1. Crazy if true.

2. There's always a loophole.

3. Well, the secrets out.

4. Damn, lucky.

5. They're not 'gross,' you're gross.

6. Every night.

7. R-E-S-P waiiiit a minute.

8. Carbon Bar!!

9. Yeah living well seems like a ton of work, whereas brakes is like snip you're done.

10. Yeah, teachers. What's up with that, huh?

11. Finally, the dogs understood. It was the day the barks stopped.