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Sometimes honesty is not the best policy.

1. CorporalD -- +1 for phraseology.  

"Tell us why you left your last job..."

"It was boring, I didn't like it so I started calling in 'slick'."

"...calling in 'slick'?"

"Yeah, telling my boss I was sick, but I really just didn't want to come to work."

"..."

2. socalfear -- Charlie is all grown up. 

Me: Is there anything in your past that could prevent you from passing the background check?

Candidate: Well last week I got arrested for domestic dispute because my wife put her hands in my face so I bit her finger off.

Me: (silence)

3. crossedx -- My mom gets motivated FOR me. 

I asked her to describe a time when she had to complete a repetitive task and how she stayed motivated. 

Her answer was waking up every morning. I asked how she stayed motivated, and she said she didn't have to because her mom got her up.

4. adayinalife -- I mean, he's definitely dealt with a DNA of sorts. 

A few years back we advertised for a job developing a cancer bio marker. We got an interesting CV from a guy that worked in DNA forensics, while the details were lacking it was a interesting enough CV to get him in for an interview. 

Once there and the pleasantries were out of the way the interview went as such.

"Could you tell us a bit more about your work in forensics, what kind of techniques are you familiar with"

"I was a janitor"

5. _aar0n_ -- Yeah, best to keep that to yourself.

"I'm not here to actually interview. I just want this to be a practice interview for other companies"

I walked out

6. effieokay -- Bullet dodged. Possibly literally. 

"Tell me about your work experience?"

"Hey, uh, how far back do y'all go for felonies?"

"We search your entire criminal history but obviously the same crime commited yesterday weighs more heavily than one committed 20 years ago with nothing since. You actually marked that you don't have any criminal history, however. Is that wrong?" 

Long story short he had been arrested A LOT. Like three times for public intoxication in the last MONTH. Felony drug charges in the last year. Theft $50,000+ in the past two years. Burglary, theft, theft, theft, drugs.

He was applying to install security systems. You have to have a certain level of credibility, much less to meet licensing requirements.

7. ghost_in_the_potato -- Crying during an interview is never a good sign. 

I helped interview some people once for a government job at an international center in rural Japan. This was a job where foreigners who didn't speak Japanese would occasionally come in and talk to staff, so even though the staff didn't have to be perfect at English, they had to at least be able to understand the basics. 

In the interviews, my boss had me start out by asking the participants simple questions like "What's your name?" and "How are you feeling today?" to see how they would react. The point wasn't to test their ability but just to make sure they would be able to handle an unexpected situation where a foreigner was speaking to them in English. And it was horrible. The first guy who came in just stared at the floor for about two minutes without saying anything. One girl started to actually cry a little bit. Of course since this was the beginning of the interview it threw them off for the rest of it as well. I felt like a total asshole but on the other hand if you cry when someone speaks English to you you're probably not the best pick for the job.

8. FEHnewbie -- But the question is: did any of them get the job? 

Had the following people apply for my company (software company):

  • Trapeze artist
  • Sheep sitter
  • Certified Chainsaw user

Best one was where the kid put down one of his attributes as "bravery".

9. jert11 -- Sometimes interviewees get TOO comfortable. 

Asked an interviewee to tell me about a time they'd built relationships with colleagues, departments, suppliers etc. She proceeded to tell me how she'd started having an affair with a work colleague. Not quite the answer I was expecting.

10. UncoolJ -- To be fair, the candidate was interviewing for a linebacking job for the Detroit Lions. 

Interviewing a nervous person for their first job. The question is: "What role do you typically play on a team?"

Candidate: "Defense"

Me: (this is an interesting response) "Can you tell me more about that?"

Candidate: "I hate sports and don't want to have to touch the ball"

It was definitely a memorable answer.

11. Nillard -- This lady knows what a cashier does, right?

Interviewing a woman for a casino cashier position.

Me: "How much money would you feel comfortable handling on a daily basis?"

Her: "None. I don't want to go to jail."

12. Ijustdoeyes -- "Hey can u speed up my hiring process i gotta take a dump" 

"Hi there, I'm ijustdoeyes thanks for coming in today" 

"Is this going to take long? I'm parked in a 15 min spot"

13. opkc -- So many people are just casually admitting crimes in interviews wtf 

I worked in the daycare at a gym, and one of the interview questions was "What is the nicest thing you've ever done for someone." One interviewee said "providing a false alibi to the police for my boyfriend."

14. Wisco1856 -- I can picture this far too well. 

I was interviewing a guy for a job as mall security. I asked the standard interview question: "What is your biggest weakness?" He responded with, "Weakness?" and then nearly maniacal laughter that lasted uncomfortably long. I jumped to the last question and ended the interview early. The guy creeped me out.

15. Trup75 -- The world's most honest drug dealer. 

I asked someone what their sales experience was and he said "um... I know this doesn't sound professional but I sell drugs"