Being a teacher must be exhausting; you have to put up with these little unruly turds for an entire day, teaching them valuable life skills and grading their impossibly stupid tests.
All the while wondering when the parents are gonna show up and chew you out for giving little Susie a C- on her test (uh, well she spelled "apple" "appelle" sorry you're daughter is dumb af, Carol).
At least these educators kept their cool while their student's dad complains about teaching
his kid that the moon landing actually happened.
Just, fuck my life.
1. ZoidbergBOT uses the wrong colored pen:
The color of red pen I use. Apparently it's too dark of a red to be considered red, and if i cant do my job properly using the correct red, im unqualified to teach
2. Kumquat-May is too quiet:
Back when I used to teach, I had a parent once complain that my classroom was 'too quiet', and as a consequence her daughter and her peers got too much work done, and they felt it was bad for their daughter's brain to be learning so much so quickly.
3. inpinktights didn't dress her student properly:
I had a parent complain that her kid was wearing a tight spaghetti strap tank top because the kid got hot and took off her sweater. She yelled at me for what she dressed her kid in?
4. cletusvanderbilt didn't follow instructions to a T:
The bottom of a "t". She wanted me to force her daughter to write the letter "t" as it appears in typing. She scheduled a PTA meeting about it.
5. LaurenTheOne gives a brutal lesson plan:
Parents once complained that I let my 7th grade, intermediate ESL students read a story that was a whole 22 pages long, with images for their book report. They had more than a month to read, it was an edited copy for their level.
6. SalemScout just doesn't know how to do their job:
A parent called to complain that I hadn't put her daughter's late homework into the gradebook yet. I told her "I can't put the homework in the gradebook until she actually turns it in."
This parent just kept asking me why I hadn't put it in. I kept replying with "I have nothing to put in! She hasn't given it to me!"
Finally the call ended with "Urg, some people just don't know how to do their jobs!"
Edit: For everyone saying I should just put in a zero, I would have if I had been allowed to. The school did not allow teachers to put in zeros for assignments until the end of the semester. So instead I called parents every time there was an incomplete assignment and reminded them that it would become a zero in a few weeks. Occasionally I would put in a zero for a few days to scare a kid into getting an assignment done, but only if I knew it would work.
7. itssmeagain is a porridge traitor:
When I was a substitute teacher a parent called me to complain how the real teacher didn't do anything about the fact that the parent's ex husband fed their son porridge for breakfast. All I could think wtf, what's wrong with porridge. Not sugary porridge either, a healthy good breakfast. I was there only for two days and she knew it
8. libwitch teaches a college-bound student:
My brother is a high school teacher: He had one kid that was early accepted in to the college of his choice and decided that his entire senior year could then be the F'yall year.
My brother had multiple conversations with the parents throughout the year about the fact that student was failing, as did other teachers. Parents seemed very unconcerned by this.
The day before classes ended, my brother runs into the father out in public and the father says to him "I am very concerened about (the students), really - I think his school performance this year doesn't bode well for how he will do in college."
My brother: Your son is not going to college. He has to repeat at least 5 classes this year in order to get his diploma.
Father: No, he's fine, he is already accepted.
My brother: Its all conditional. Without his high school diploma - which we have been telling you all year he is not going to get - he can't get in.
The father - who has a college degree himself - was apparently shocked by this news, and they promptly went right to the School Board, trying to get his entire senior waived "because he was obviously such a strong student that a school accepted him on early admission." School Board did not agree.
9. plains59 puts on Mr. Bean:
For silly fun at the end of the term I showed an episode of Mr. Bean. He was washing his clothes and pulled a dress out accidentally and put it on. That is what they were mad at, that I was encouraging cross-dressing. They were seniors in High School...
10. LifeIsShortAndSoAmI teaches kids hygiene:
I have my students wash their hands before lunch. Apparently, I'm being "unrealistic with my expectations." Fuck off, Dawn.
11. ARCoati works for a selfish principal:
My cousin who teaches Kindergarten had a parent complain to the principle that she was "irresponsible" for being "selfish enough" to have a baby and take maternity leave before the end of the school year.
12. NanoAggression doesn't tutor for free anymore:
Helped a friend pass calculus by tutoring him. His mom would come in and pray for him to pass sometimes, and I would just go with it to be polite. She goes to bed, and we go out to have a smoke. We come back inside, and she goes off the rails on me, yelling at me for enabling him and how all he does is waste his life and smoke. Saying he'll never pass because he's lazy and I'm a loser. How it's my fault if he fails calculus for a third time.
Mind you, she asked for my help and I got paid next to nothing for all of this (the occasional dinner, $40 here and there...)
I was so furious that I walked over to the table and handed her a literal ream of calculus problems he had been working on with me from that semester. I skimmed a quarter inch of paper off the top and handed it to her. I dropped the rest on the table, and I calmly said, "all of his hard work is here, you can look through it. I'm not going to stand here and be abused, goodbye".
His final was tomorrow. We had been at it for 5 hours that day, and our sessions would sometimes be longer. The kd was a trooper. I've never seen someone work so hard, and it was the only reason I tutored him for such shit compensation.
My revenge was that he passed. I no longer tutor for free.
13. _queen_frostine is responsible for all lice:
... that her child got lice in Elementary school. Apparently it was all my fault that her child got "infected". This same parent complained to me that I was calling her child by a shortened version of her name (that the child asked me to use) instead of her full name.
I'm sure I have more, but those are just from this year.
Edit: I remember something that goes along with the lice part of the story. After they got the lice out, the mom was adamant that her daughter not be hugged by anyone, or that she shouldn't get "too close" (but never specified what too close actually was for me to attempt to enforce) to the other kids, so that she does not get "infected" again. This is first grade. Trying to keep kids away from each other is like herding cats.
14. bopeepsheep needs to teach more students to have natural talent:
I witnessed a parent complaining at the end of a primary school concert that it "wasn't fair" that their child had no discernable musical talent, and that the school should stop giving instrument lessons to the kids who were keen or talented. I've never seen the music teacher genuinely speechless for so long.
15. varro-reatinus edits a paper:
I had a screaming parent in my office because of a marginal comment I made on an essay that had received a grade of 95%, submitted by a student who was top of the class.
The comment said, and I'm paraphrasing here, 'This argument is unworthy of you. Don't be lazy: find better sources and don't hang your argument on idle assertions.'
The parent claimed I had called her daughter 'lazy, idle, fat, suicidal, and unworthy of being a student at [INSTITUTION].' She actually thought I was threatening to have her expelled, or at least barred from grad school.
The best part: the girl was a second-year undergraduate.
The next best part: it was an open office, and my colleagues were openly mocking her the entire time. I just sat there and said nothing. I miss those guys.
edit: just to be clear because of potential pronoun confusion, the female student had no problem with the comment, was absolutely mortified by what her mother had done, and seriously concerned that the interference would damage her academic career. I just laughed and told her I was even more impressed that she'd emerged intelligent and sane from a home environment like that, then asked if she needed any letters of reference. She did, and she got them. Her mother got a vaguely insulting note and a small tray of milk chocolates.