It's pretty great when a guy describes himself as being "nice" in the same sentence he calls a woman "a cum-guzzling chad fucker" and then laments that he'll never get a girlfriend. 

We don't mean to get anyone all riled up or anything, but reality just called and sounds like, super pissed off at these guys. 

But hey, if you are into this kind of guy, good news! They're definitely 100% single. 

1. OH NO SHE THANKED YOU FOR THE COMPLIMENT!

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via newaccountwhodis95

2. But also please sit on my dick. 

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via Glowtits_

3. Yep, that's exactly what I said. 

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via RaffyPooh

4. Ignorance isn't always bliss. 

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via henryk3

5. The world's greatest mystery is not a mystery at all.  

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via Love_Shaq_Baby

6. Words from a Nice Guy™.

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via HugZGoofy

7. Ummm, this seems like a threat?

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via C0balt7

8. That's because Satan's cringing. 

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via therealslimshady19

9. YOU MADE ME INTO THIS ANNOYING MONSTER!

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via borkbork69

10. "I'd really love to get to know how your butthole looks close up." 

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via TangotheScribe

11. Whatever you have to tell yourself to sleep at night, bud.

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via telaelit

12. *Eye rolling intensifies*

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via yaroslav_the_young

13. Straight men have it harder than anyone else. 

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via SeraphicMusgu

14. "Ew, I would never date that bitch, she's ugly"- this nice guy. 

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via i_have_internet