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If you're gonna get fired, go big. Go out with a story. Nay, a LEGACY.

1. khegiobridge -- "Ah, this one is perfect, thank you!" 

Cooked next door to another restaurant. Knew the day cook; he was ...unstable. So, lunch rush, a customer sends a steak back; not done enough. Sends it back again: too done. Customer gets a new steak, and sends it back again. The cook grabs the steak off the plate and throws it across the crowded restaurant and hits the customer sitting, so help me, 40 feet away, in the head. Yep, he got fired.

2. Blood_Warrior -- Those things are important, you see. 

I didn't see it, but heard about it. The manager of this store where my friend used to work at was fired for forgetting to turn in bank deposits. He had several days worth of deposits in his car. He put them in his car and forgot about them.

3. 86thisredditaccount -- Your food can wait, this man has rad boots to walk in. 

Guy told me he couldn't really move fast (line cook) because his motorcycle boots were too heavy to walk in.

4. GreenBreastedMango -- The boss didn't ask for HER doctor's note, to be fair. 

A girl called in sick. So the boss asks for a doctors note. The girl gives a doctors note. Turns out the girl just got one from google images or something like that, with an address from New York. We worked in Texas.

5. ex-ape -- Don't hang dong. 

Girl showed up for a 6am shift still rolling on mdma and whatever other stuff she was on. Pupils like saucers, sweaty, and completely incoherent. She spent the first hour of her shift pacing madly in the kitchen, then the manager came in and she was gone.

At another job a Manager somehow thought it was funny to pull a dudes pants down during a morning huddle. He got the undies too so this dude was hanging dong in front of the entire warehouse staff, never saw either of them again.

6. DiddyMao20XX -- Porn of all persuasions is usually grounds for a firing. 

I was the overnight manager for a call centre for a while. 

I had to terminate an employee for looking at porn on the work computers. 

He came back the next day threatening to sue the company for discrimination claiming I fired him for being gay. 

I had to sit in an office, with 2 grown adults ( the ex-employee, and the HR director) and explain that I fired him for looking at porn on a work computer.

The gayness of the porn didn't factor into the decision.

7. allenidaho -- Eh, it's Arbys. What do you expect? 

I got "fired" from a job at Arbys when I was a teenager WHILE I was quitting. I had worked there about a week and decided it really sucked balls. So I went into the Manager's office before my next shift to quit.
I started with "Hi. Can we talk? I don't think this job is for me..."
I don't know if this Manager was already having a bad day, but she suddenly got pissed. Her face turned a bit red and she snapped "Turn in your shirt and I.D. Badge! Just get out of here! You're fired!"
So I walked out of her office, a bit stunned. Turned my stuff in at the admin building for the company that ran the chain.
All in all, a pretty weird experience.

8. LordFarquadOnAQuad -- But the POOL WAS DYING! 

One girl who I work with when I was a life guard. Got fired for taking the portable defibrillator into a pool.

9. GeekPunk00 -- This man was eating WELL. 

Wasn't that funny but more unbelievable. When I worked at a Grocery Store for my first job, we had an employee get fired for stealing around $14,000 worth of groceries, don't know if they ever pressed charges though. He worked the closing shift so he would stash what he wanted in the back where there weren't cameras, bring it up in a box when we closed, act like he paid for it earlier even brandishing a receipt (He would only pay for two or three of the items then walk out with the rest later). This continued for a long time until they installed new security cameras. I still can't believe he got away with it for so long.

10. rockystaircase -- "Oh that? That's just a large potato chip from the sky."

At my very first job, I worked in a very very old fast food place. We had an auditor come in, and I was doing portion preps when the auditor walked by, and a piece of the ceiling fell into my food tray. Manager got canned after that.

11. maddogbrown -- That's the way we should all wish to get fired. 

I didn't see it, but there was a stoner at my work who got high on the job. He didn't get fired for being high though, it was for getting high then trying to do a wheelie in the forklift on the main road outside my work

12. ISaidRightMeowDammit -- He just wanted a taste of the rainbow.

I worked at UPS and was in management. My skittles got stuck in the vending machine, so I started shaking it, like in high school. It didn't work, so I started putting my shoulder into the machine and eventually, smashed through the glass in front of about 40 to 50 other employees. Getting walked out was awkward af.