1.Your Phone Dying The Second You Take It Out Of Your Pocket
I'm no scientist, but I'm pretty sure the winter is poison to cell phone batteries. It happens every time. You'll be walking, trying to distract yourself from the blistering cold by listening to music, when suddenly you get a thought that can only be answered by doing a quick google search on your smartphone. You quickly pull out your device and start typing in "Is Judi Dench a republican" only to have your phone shut off dead....two seconds ago it said you were at 34%. What the fuck?!?!?
2. When You Get Hot The Second You Walk Indoors
A lot of winter is about fighting the cold by making yourself warm. Unfortunately, when warm intersects with warm, you're left feeling hot and it's ironically one of the worst parts of winter. There is no greater discomfort than coming inside to somewhere that's made hot as hell by a heater, and having to sweat your way through taking off the twelve layers of jackets you have on, just to get your body temperature back to somewhere comfortable. What's worse is the instance on public transportation when you can't even disrobe yet, so you're forced to stew in your own juices until you get to your stop.
3. Having Your Legs Be Constantly Numb
From the waist up, winter fashions are pretty much figured out. You can wear a sweater, a jacket, a long sleeved shirt, or any combination of the three to make yourself comfortable without looking like some sort of crazy person. Below the waist is a different story. You basically just get pants and that's it. Pants are thin. There's a couple of options for layering, but it's hard to wear long underwear to work without feeling like a bit of a creep. As such, you get used to the feeling of your inner thighs getting so cold that they start feeling warm again, before getting fully numb.
4. The Trash Snow That Doesn't Melt For Months
I like snow a lot....when it's fresh. Unfortunately, sometimes it doesn't melt when it's supposed to and then it gets depressing as all hell. It gets pushed to the side of the street where it gets all hard and covered in sludge. By the time it finally melts, it starts looking like god turned seasonal depression into a rock. It's upsetting every time you come across it.
5. The Constant Hat Hair
If you're a sane person, you wear a hat in the winter, and they're great and serve their function, they also come with a very unfortunate side effect. Each minute spent wearing a hat is a minute spent flattening your hair out. By the time you come home for the day, you end look like one of those ASPCA dogs, and you can't get your do back to normal no matter how hard you try. You're forced to walk around looking silly just because you weren't willing to sacrifice your ears to frostbite.
Gloves are necessary for surviving the winter but all glove designs suck a raging butthole. Either they don't warm your hands or they make it impossible for your to do anything else. Whichever they are,they suck.