1. Mikes Hard don't mess around.
me: no hoe shit tonight-- gary from teen mom (@garyfromteenmom) January 29, 2018
me after one mikes hard: pic.twitter.com/ay3scNZQZp
2. There's police for that?
to this day I am 100% confident that this is the funniest thing I've seen in my entire fucking life pic.twitter.com/s1he1s4T1x-- carlo (@carlocavaluzzi) January 28, 2018
3. Truly nothing more confusing than Daylight Savings Time.
ME: The older I get, the more I realize how confusing the world is.-- Nathan Usher (@thenatewolf) January 29, 2018
FRIEND: I hear you. Being this aware of the precarious geopolitical situation is certainly harrowing.
ME: I was thinking more like Daylight Savings Time but yeah.
4. There will be other carts in the store.
ME: Give up, man. She's not coming back.-- Born Miserable (@bornmiserable) January 28, 2018
GROCERY CART: pic.twitter.com/1GZN0ieahU
5. This makes sense, oddly enough.
I feel like LaCroix is what juice would taste like to a ghost-- Bridger Winegar (@bridger_w) January 28, 2018
6. There, all fixed.
7. My life will never be the same.
God damn. I didn't even know he was dead 😢 pic.twitter.com/hL5wIRP4W7-- TWlTTER DOT COM SLASH PIXELATED BOAT (@pixelatedboat) January 29, 2018
8. Which is really saying something considering how tiny he already is.
my partner can't stop laughing in this airport restaraunt because I got my old ass ID card out and I look like "a tiny joseph gordon-levitt" pic.twitter.com/aRjIjjkxQY-- Goth Ms. Frizzle (@spookperson) January 29, 2018
9. Love this man.
A Pelicans fan snuck on to the court for warmups, stretched and put up a shot before the police escorted him off. Dying 😂😂 pic.twitter.com/ckytG5T8q1-- Dime on UPROXX (@DimeUPROXX) January 29, 2018
rare photo of a freelancer invoicing for the month pic.twitter.com/xAW4erJYHJ-- Anne T. Donahue (@annetdonahue) November 1, 2017
11. Yeah VEGANS. Riddle me THAT.
hello vegans, if PIGS are so SMART why do 66% of them build houses with INEFFECTIVE, STUPID materials-- chunky lemon milk (@braag_) January 12, 2018
12. It's the law.
[whispering to the dog I'm petting]-- Abstinence Enthusiast (@SortaBad) January 25, 2018
You have to tell me if you're a cop