Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
Honest Rules For Every Super Bowl Party Drinking Game
February 4, 2018
Whenever someone says they only watch the Super Bowl "for the commercials"
Whenever someone yells at the TV as though the refs can hear them
Somebody asks a very obvious question about the rules
Pre-gaming friend passes out before the game starts
Trailer for any superhero movie
Someone says "this year's commercials aren't as good as last year's"
Whenever you genuinely don't understand what a commercial is promoting
Someone denies a beer fart
"Who wants the last slice?"
Someone says "I'm just rooting for a good game"
Somebody points out that Tom Brady is a Trump supporter
"Patriots are cheating" / Deflategate reference
Someone mentions CTEs and the horrible cost of the sport we're all just trying to watch and really bringing everyone down, c'mon
Take a shot:
Someone references Janet Jackson's nipple
Someone freaks out because they clearly have money on the game
Someone loudly announces what a high concept commercial is for because they watched all of the commercials on YouTube the day before
You have to call the delivery guy to see where your pizza is
Someone goes to the bathroom and someone else steals their seat.
Someone mentions kneeling
A couple goes into the hallway to have an argument, and everyone at the party is uncomfortably aware of it
Someone makes a "superb owl" joke like they just came up with it
"Someone wanna go on a beer run?"
"They should have gotten
(insert some cool indie band no one's ever heard of)
to do the half-time show instead of Justin Timberlake"
One person says they're just here to watch "This Is Us" after
Finish your drink:
Whenever someone mockingly refers to it as "sportsball"
Someone drives home at half-time to poop
Someone actually tries the gross bean dip your creative friend brought
Someone decides that they're gonna call in sick to work tomorrow
Someone says they could be a kicker
One member of the arguing couple leaves midway through the game while the other stays but is awkwardly quiet, clearly pissed off, and texting nonstop
into the post-game "This Is Us" episode despite having never seen the show before
Drink until you pass out:
When the Patriots win, because it's 2018 and the world needs to remind you that life is unfair
We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.