We know teachers have always said "there is no such thing as a stupid question, just stupid answers."

Turns out that there are stupid questions and wow, they're almost baffling to answer. If you're a teacher, you must have the patience of saint that shits rainbows. 

We're gonna have to go ahead and give these students an F in General Life Studies.

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1. Economy_Cactus weeps for humanity: 

Fiance messaged me last week one of her geography students asked

"what state is North America in?"

2. HighTopsLowStandards knows about mermaids: 

"Is it true that mermaids evolved into dolphins?"

3. Escalus_Hamaya's teacher is a zombie: 

Someone once asked my college professor, who used to teach skydiving, if he had ever been killed while skydiving.

He had not.

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4. asdlpg learns of a magical group of people: 

Not a teacher but one of my classmates asked if Norwegians are real or if they only exist in books.

5. lavendercoffee teaches their student a little life hack: 

This was about a month into the school year. A student would have a pencil at the beginning of class but would lose it somehow and need another one which would inevitably disappear. I was confused. Because he wasn't dropping them on the floor so how was he losing them? I happened to see him throw a perfectly good, if dull, pencil into the garbage bin.

I immediately rush over going, "WOAH haha buddy why are you throwing that away? There's nothing wrong with it!"

Him: (looking at me like I'm a bit slow) "Um, it's done."

Me: ?????

Him: I can't write with it anymore, right? So I need to throw it away. Isn't that what you do when they stop writing?

Me:????????????????

I then picked the pencil out of the garbage bin (It was just papers luckily) and sharpened it right in front of him,wiped it off, and showed him.

Me: Okay. You can write with it now.

He looked at me like I'd just cured cancer, it was hilarious.

As a side note, he was only 7. I still find it funny he thought you just threw dull pencils away though.

6. TheSuperCactus gets asked hardball questions: 

It's a toss-up between:

Does Africa have night?

or

Did Shakespeare write The Titanic?

7. Just36words is mad on a cellular level: 

We were talking about cells. Cell parts. Cell organelles. pass around a model of a cell for them to look at, nothing but cells cells cells. Student gets it and asks me "what planet is this?"

8. falcon0159 knows time travelers: 

Not a teacher, but I once worked with a Jamaican that thought that Jews were time travelers because it was the year 5775 according to the Hebrew calendar.

Took me an hour to try to explain that Jews weren't from the future, he still didn't get it.

9. reignengine is dumbstruck: 

A stupid student we had was known for asking stupid questions, she baffles the faculty because they honestly believed she shouldn't be a high school student, she should be back in middle school.

One of her best questions was this.

"Why didn't they kill Saddam and Osama during WWII, if they did, we wouldn't have to deal with them now."

She also thinks Black History month is in honor of President Obama, who she always mistakes for Martin. Luther King Jr.

10. NipponNiGajin is the bees knees: 

Out on a farm, a grade nine girl asked me if bees were alive.

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11. spit_in_my_eye is completely baffled: 

"Do you want us to write our names on it in English?" asked the puzzled white American teenager in our rural American high school English class.

I STILL have no idea what she meant.

Edit to add: She was born and bred in Texas. Comes from a long line of Texans. She speaks no other languages. She is not British. She's never been out of Texas.

And I STILL have no idea what she meant. I didn't even respond. I just stared at her in disbelief.

12. Reaqzehz shakes their head: 

Not a teacher, but in a history lesson, during year 11, we watched a recreation of the nuke that hit Hiroshima. The video showed buildings collapsing and a guy being vaporised. After the video ended there was a brief silence before this girl said, "would that kill you?"

13. bp1108 discovers the origin of cubes:

7th grade math. "Were cubes discovered in Cuba?"

14. DoTheLaLaLaLaLa teaches like an Egyptian: 

Not in my class but I had someone ask "Aren't Egyptian's extinct?" in complete seriousness. The guy sitting behind him was Egyptian and he just dropped his head to the table.

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15. bathtimereject hears a carbo-loaded qestion:

I was in highschool in '72 long before the internet was a thing. During a health class discussing nutrition we were going over various food groups and the benefits the nutrients and vitamins played on our bodies organ function etc. A 16 year old kid actually seemed to be under the notion cauliflower was a bread and not a vegetable. Not sure the reasoning there, maybe he had never seen one since they were fairly unheard of in the area we grew up in.