It's okay to brag every once in a while, especially if you've earned it - like a big promotion that you've been working hard to get or a new car you paid for with the money you've saved. 

However, if you're constantly blowing your own horn (and dick) then you're just being incredibly annoying to everyone around you. 

1. Then answer is YOU CAN'T. 

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via Barkalow

2. Sometimes I forget how much everyone hates me.

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via IWantSomeDietCrack

3. The status when YOU'RE LITERALLY THE SECOND COMING OF CHRIST. 

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via jtfojesse

4. But will I brag about it? YES. YES I WILL. 

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5. 

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via ledhotchilizeppers

6. Yeah you're probably doing it wrong. 

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via Only_Reposts_Top

7. You keep using that word...

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via Bubben15

8. It's hard to be a SEX GOD, Lord of the 69. 

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via skepticetoh

9. Except I want recognition. 

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via Ineedtobeworking

10. Pretty sure you have to audition to be on that show, bud. 

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11. I'm used to having a 12-pack not a 6-pack :(

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via skepticetoh

12. No one in the history of ever has had a harder 3 days than you.

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via Lashraq

13. Your teacher is such an ASSHOLE!

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via kiwit179

14. Hey maybe buy a new wallet with that money?

Jackasses Who Need to Get the F*ck Outta Here With Their Gloating