1. Nice try FBI, but you'll never get your proof that I watch 3D Smurfs fuck.

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Acox_mu

2. Feeding grandchildren comes before personal safety.

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Holofan4life

3. "The year was 1776 - " *QUIET* "The yea-" *BILLY QUIET* "...The year was 1776"

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flyoverthemooon

4. It is his calling.

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ComradePoolio/source

5. Where's Neil DeGrasse Tyson when you need him?

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Eton729

6. Valid point.

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CIean

7. Doctor recommended. These are for your own good.

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The_New_Phone11

8. Did it...did it come out in the night?

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NLBLUE

9. LOL I'm lonely.

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sari13371

10. Don't even try.

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PANlC4TT4CK

11. Just stay home and sleep. Much more fun.

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Holofan4life