If there is any porn parody you would like to see reviewed, please for the love of God keep it to yourself.


Are you someone who likes porn, but have always wished it would skate a weird, thin line between 90's nostalgia and child pornography? Me neither! But inexplicably, that is exactly what we are given with Woodrocket's Rugrats porn parody: Tugrats.

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Tugrats opens in media res, with Lil correcting Phil saying "It's only considered a gangbang if there's three or more people". Phil fires back saying, there needs to be four.

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I would have to agree with Phil, if a threesome was a gangbang, we'd call it a gangbang. But we call it a threesome. This is some solid chuffah writing from writers April O' Neil and Vuko, and is, to me, about as delicately as you can get the ball rolling on the whole "sex and Rugrats" together thing. 

We pan out to a wide shot of the whole crew, where we unfortunately meet Tommy, bald and chin-strapped, wearing a diaper.

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Now, if it weren't for the opening title card "Chuckie Gets Lucky" I would assume we'd be seeing Susie and Tommy fuck. Tommy's got a Johnny Sins kinda thing going on, and Susie looks like the only sexual creature in the lot.

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However, Chuckie (Robby Echo) soon chimes in saying "Tommy can we do something fun?", the universal indicator that you my friend are getting fucked in this porno. Then Lil, after arguably too long, addresses the elephant in the room saying, "At least when we were babies we could play, now we're adults. What are we going to do for fun? Our taxes?"

What is great about this is it clarifies the reality to the viewer, ensuring them that they are not about to watch babies fuck each other. What is confusing and strange about this is that everyone is still talking, dressing, and acting like babies in everything that they do. So it appears Tugrats dodges the hurdle of portraying baby sex by instead portraying paraphilic infatilism.

In response to "What are we going to do for fun?", Phil for some reason believes they all should "find some big juicy bugs to eat".

Susie suggests they find something a little less disgusting to do, and unfathomably Phil responds with:

Hey, I'm not saying bugs are delicious. But if you're asshole was a big bug, I would immediately drop my to my knees right now and toss your bug salad.

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Phil is met with a silence deserving of his comment, and then says "Anthony Bourdain eats bugs, I'm just like Anthony Bourdain."

The doorbell rings. Chuckie says "Who could that be?", the universal indicator that that my friend is the person that is going to fuck you in this porno. Tommy responds with, "It could be the bottle of dick grease I ordered off Amazon, or it could just be a convenient plot point."

In walks Angelica (Lena Paul, Pornstar Rank 24 on Pornhub), sporting the swagger and cleavage of someone who is definitely the person getting fucked in this.

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The gang explains to Angelica that they were just trying to think of something fun to do, to which Angelica responds, "Well good thing I showed up, fun is my middle name!"

Susie responds, "Funny I thought your middle name was "spoiled bitch". This is the funniest line in the video. Though Susie does not get fucked, she ultimately wins the day.

Lil suggests they all play hide and go peek. Chuckie rebukes this saying, "Hide and go peek? That games for babies." He then turns straight to camera and reiterates, "And, we're clearly not babies. We're adults now."

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Angelica then asks the question we're all thinking, "Then why is Tommy wearing a diaper?"

Tommy responds, "It's called adult baby syndrome. It's a thing. You can Google it."

Angelica pushes things along by saying they will in fact be playing Hide and Go Peek, and Chuckie is "it" first. Chuckie, bafflingly, says he doesn't remember the rules.

Chuckie, an adult man, we are led to believe, does not understand the rules of Hide and Go Seek, so Angelica explains them to him. She does so by illustrating you need to find "a nice, dark spot to hide, like this" and stuffs her tits into Chuckie's face. This is met with little to no reaction by anyone else.

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After ten seconds, Angelica releases Chuckie from her tit grip, leaving him short of breath and headached. Chuckie laments, "I feel like I just climbed Everest". Tommy informs Chuckie his dad has some headache medicine in the bathroom, so I guess Tommy still lives with his dad. Chuckie limps into the bathroom and snaps up one of the two pill bottles on the counter, can you guess which one?

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Considering Stu shares a bathroom with his diapered son, you'd think he'd maybe play his erectile dysfunction a little closer to the chest. But no, he bought a label maker, made the label "Stu's Boner Pills", and didn't even hide it in a cabinet, just plops it straight next to the sink. Chuckie of course gobbles down some boner pills.

He returns and they begin their game of hide and go peek. He counts to ten with a fat chub, while everyone hides. 

He hits ten, rock hard.

Now, I have never taken erectile dysfunction medication. But I'm pretty sure you aren't supposed to hallucinate sexy things, which Chuckie does in droves. He sees a houseplant sprout a dildo.

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He sees a portrait of Didi get "double DD's". Viagra hallucinations aside, it is very funny to me that the Pickles residence keeps an enormous thirst trap of Didi hanging in the living room.

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Oh, and he sees Reptar get a fat fucking boner.

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Chuckie's freaked out, and wonders why he's seeing all these things and why his pants are so tight. He says this is all "Scarier than a room full of clowns", or "a room full of that guy on the Oatmeal box".

Out of nowhere, this screen pops up, I guess Chuckie hallucinates it? It is never explained. This dark magic leads him to walk to the bedroom where Angelica is doing a very poor job of hiding, as she is on top of the bed.

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Chuckie approaches the bed, to just an incomprehensibly horny Angelica. She says "Looks like you found me", sees his hard dick and then says "Ooooo looks like I found something awesome too" and starts stroking his dick over his green shorts. Chuckie, thoughtfully, notes, "What about everyone else, they're waiting for me to find them". To which Angelica, truly the horniest person imaginable says, "Oh relax, you can go find them after you fuck me." 

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Hard cut. Angelica's fully naked, Chuckie is fully clothed. They make out, Angelica goes down on him, Chuckie reaches around and fingers her from behind.

I must say, once the sex begins, the actor playing Chuckie completely drops his character. Moments ago Chuckie seemed gobsmacked at the concept of having an erection, now he is saying shit like "Get that fucking cock", "Yea you're such a little slut", and "God you suck my dick so fucking good". I'm not necessarily complaining, because in the Spongebob porn the actor playing Spongebob does not drop character, and it is extremely unpleasant. But there's gotta be some sort of middle ground here.

Angelica sucks Chuckie's dick for like 3 minutes. They swap to what you think is going to be doggystyle, but Chuckie misdirects us all by swooping in to eat her out from behind first. In order to do so successfully, he has to push and keep his bright orange wig hair out of the way of her vagina, which I think is very funny.

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Lena Paul, the actress playing Angelica, is very vocal. I wasn't sure if that was just her thing, or if it was a character choice made for Angelica, so I extended my research to her other videos on Pornhub and I can say conclusively that it's just her thing.

Eleven minutes in they start fucking doggystyle. Chuckie finally takes his shirt off, he's got a six pack. Were it not for the bright orange wig and purple glasses, this would now just look like regular porn. They fuck hard. Very hard. I commend the actor playing Chuckie for staying professional amidst hard doggystyle fucking as the bright orange curls of his wig bounce up and down off of his eyes.

I would've appreciated at this point, or at any, for them to cut away to the other characters, hiding and hearing very loud intercourse.

I would be remiss not to reiterate how fast and hard these two fuck each other. The speed and power of their fucking is intense, and seems truly exhausting. Chuckie makes Angelica cum on more than one occasion, which is a refreshing change of pace from most pornography. The two seem to have a genuine fire on camera that works. I commend both of their stamina. 

Oh, quick side note: Angelica's doll Cynthia is laying on the bed next to this slam sesh the entire time, and if she exists in the Toy Story universe she is irreparably traumatized for life.

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Chuckie fucks Angelica from behind, again, extremely fast and hard, before pulling out and coming on her face and tits. Angelica explains, "You better go find everyone else right now before you have to explain why you were too dumb to go find them quicker." Chuckie says "Oh that's right, shoot", and walks out the room naked and fully erect, which is not the way I would have approached it. 

We Watched the Rugrats Porn Parody So You Don't Have To

Fully aware of the repercussions of being a man that recommends Rugrats pornography, I must say I recommend it. Once you get over the fact that this is pornography based off a baby-centric children's show, an undeniable hurdle, it is plain and simple good porn. The actors, insane fuck beasts, 1) have a great chemistry, 2) do us the favor of dropping their characters the second that they start fucking, and 3) make each other orgasm, a welcome rarity in porn.  A good sign of a successful piece of work is leaving the people wanting more, and that is exactly what Tugrats did for xraveboi, one month ago. 

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