If you've ever been a dungeon master, you know that it's kind of like desperately keeping your car on the road while the backseat is filled with shit elves trying to stear you into a ravine. 

You start out on a fun cohesive adventure and then -BAM- you're neck deep in chaos and GODDAMIT ADAM YOU'RE NOT THINKING THINGS THROUGH DIPLOMATICALLY.  You can't just FIREBALL THE NOBLE before you've talked to him, asswipe.

The struggle is real and if one more Murder Hobo sabotages the quest we're NOT bringing the fucking pretzels next time. 


1. PancAshAsh

When presented with a jailbreak mission, they didn't attack through the sewers, over the walls, or through the main gate.

Instead, they got jobs at the prison as janitors, cooks, and jailers.

2. jazaphir

During an adventure to an elven city, one of my players started a sundial wristwatches pyramid scheme. SOB managed to pull it off with high charisma rolls. Now it's a running joke throughout the campaign, everywhere the party goes is a sales opportunity for sundial wristwatches.

3. asinus_stultus

They attacked an army...literally. Not sure what their end goal was, but 5 players taking on 10,000+ orcs is not the way I would have gone. Shot the module we were playing, and had to improvise for about a month. We never did get back to the original story.

Edit - No, they did not win. They were swarmed by 100 or so orcs and the orc captain was impressed with their fighting capabilities. They were imprisoned and used as practice for a few weeks until the thief convinced an orc to join them and they escaped. They were pursued all over the countryside until the opposing army finally arrived.

From what I remember this was better than the original module.


4. davidecibel:

Not a DM here, but my group once did a pretty cool thing. So, my character was a Sorcerer, and got petrified by a goddamn basilisk.

Now, instead of finding a diamond (or whatever it was) to unpetrify me, they sold me as a statue for a good amount of gold. I had to make a new character.

My friends are dicks.

5. Draaaaaaven:

They found a small golden frog statue in a chest and decided to worship it as a dark god. They sacrificed innocent villagers to it. It was just a small statue worth about 50 gold

Edit: This is not the frog statue that you find in LMo

6. wanaty

I heard one youtuber say: We encountered an undead that deals freezing damage to anything it touches. They managed to take its head off but since its undead it continued living. They used its head to make a club like weapon that talks and deals freeze damage.

7. ConneryFTW

There was a door that responded to sound. The idea was that you had to make enough noise to unlock the door, but there was a monster (specifically a stringy haired ghost girl) that would hear the noise, be alerted to the party and attack.

After not finding a way into the room, one of my PCs started venting his in-character frustrations at the door. Which, started to open the lock, since it was a lot of noise. Seeing it work, my other PCs started to cry and scream their deepest regrets, angers, and hopes at the door.

This went on for a while with half of my PCs having in-game existential crises. The door eventually opened, and the ghost girl never attacked out of a mixture of pity and empathy.

8. PaulRummy:

My players saved a a bartender's daughter from cultists, as well as some other townsfolk.

Returned to town, sent everyone home and walked the girl to the tavern.

Entered the door to the tavern, talked to a person coming iut. Got distracted.

Took the bartender's daughter with them through 17 sessions and taught her how to be an archer against her protests of wanting to go home.


9. Urbanviking1:

I gave my players a little more free will than a typical story arc, just to see what would happen. They inevetibly went evil, ransacking every town becoming a roving band of bandits, torturing key NPCs for info. When they got to a major city they couldn't walk through the main gate because of the bad reputation they gained, so they snuck in, took the king hostage, and launched him over the walls from a catapault claiming the city. When they finally met the main antagonist of my story arc instead of killing the Dark Lord, the Dark Lord joined the party because the party gained an incredibly evil reputation.

It was a hilarious story arc.

10. newyorkglaze:

My last session they focused on the governor of a town, and the gnome in my group began trying to get permission to court his daughter. Long story short we are taking a break from the real campaign because i had to homebrew a debutante ball where all members of the party will be competing for the daughters hand in marriage

11. Varryn1027:

Via a combination of spells, alchemy, and teamwork, they enlarged the wizard's raven familiar, shrunk the gnome, glued the gnome to the raven, and had the raven fly along city walls while the gnome lobbed spells at the guards.

12. Samdpsois:

Pathfinder. We have a barbarian that does a stupid amount of damage on a horse. Naturally, when it came time for them to enter a dungeon, I said his horse got spooked and refused to enter (plus, it was a little small for a horse anyhow). They go into the dungeon.

Eventually, though, the ranger realizes hes been carting his large snake around constantly and its been dealing enough damage to be relevant. So he asks the barbarian just what, exactly, can he ride?

Barbarian says any large creature. The snake is a large creature. They defeated the dungeon by having the barbarian charge someone on a fucking snake. Absolutely unexpected.

13. The_Real_Roberts:

PLAYER: "I cast Death Spell."

ME: "Great. Do you target the Cultist swinging the golden ritual sickle, or the one holding the screaming baby?"

PLAYER: "I target the baby."

Me: "..."


14. rob1377

My players once pooled all of their cash at about level 4 to buy a tavern and retire instead of following the plot any further. That was it, campaign over. They decided to play medieval fantasy Its Always Sunny.

15. carnizzle:

Proceded to their destination in a timely and normal fasion without getting into trouble.