There's a lot of pressure associated with sex - after all, it's two (or more) people at their most intimate and vulnerable...and if you screw it up, there may not be a round 2. That's why little embarrassing moments that happen during sex seem SO MUCH WORSE than if they had happened at any other time - especially if you're early in a new relationship and just dating, screwing up a night of sex with your partner could definitely mean the end of things.
Also - it's just nice to hear we're not alone. When you do have an embarrassing sex moment, you can often feel like you've had the worst sex moment imaginable and that everyone else are just a bunch of chill sex-operators who perform perfectly every time...but that's not the case AT ALL. Everyone has their own story, and we found some real gems in this r/AskReddit thread that should make you feel a little less alone in the world.
I had been seeing this girl for a few weeks, been going real well. We got high. Really fucking high. Then we decided to get higher. Now our high asses start making out.
Oh shit we're going to have sex I think to myself. Where are my feet I think to myself. I wonder if they make glow in the dark carpets I think to myself. I wonder how the fuck this is going to play out I think to myself.
Foreplay, foreplay, foreplay. Here we go. I should probably say something. Say something. SAY SOMETHING. In my best monster truck night a the local arena TV commercial voice, "HOT! STONER! ACTION!!!" It's all over, she will make me leave and never talk to me again.
An eternity later she laughs. I laugh. We both laugh for a solid half hour before we can start back up again. We've been together 8 years and we have made "HOT! STONER! ACTION!" a juicy reference over the years.
I ate a lot of pizza before going to bed with this girl I just started dating. At the time I didn't know I was starting to develop lactose intolerance. After interrupting sex twice to go the bathroom I went back to her, let out an uncontrollable wet fart and shat on the bed.
Worst part: it was her parents' bed.
I got a nose bleed while riding a guy and didn't notice... And then I sneezed huge amounts of blood all over him. Then I almost passed out and fell off his dick. He cried and tried to take me to the hospital.
At least twice I've found out that my period started because the guy going down on me told me so
deep throated a guy, hit my gag reflex and puked all over his pubes.
I had a "softcore" threesome with my boyfriend and another guy. They were both masturbating and I planned to let them finish on my boobs. Then I got brave and offered them an "alternative." Within 40 seconds they were both finished and I had a mouth full of semen that I swallowed, immediately belched back into my mouth, and swallowed again.
My gf peed herself during sex at full stream, she was so embarrassed and was crying and a mess. I convinced her she had squirted. She became proud then went and had a shower. I quickly changed the sheets and it was def piss.
Wife literally butt dialed her mom. We now have a no phones in bed rule.
I tried to dismount from his face and fell off the bed into my side table. While my parents were asleep. I ended up with a giant bruise on one of my knees. Thankfully neither of my parents decided to investigate the loud crashing.
I was sucking my boyfriend's dick and his foreskin got caught on my braces.
Of course he endured excruciating pain and it was even more awkward when we still tried to continue after that...
Having sex with Harry Potter on in the background. A dinner scene in the Great Hall comes on, and I say "Do you think they ever have 'Muggle Mondays' at Hogwarts?", me imagining the tables filled with KFC, McDonalds and the like. I laughed a lot, my girlfriend not so much. I still think it's funny
My dog jumped onto my bed and licked my boyfriend's buttcrack while he was on top of me.
ok...this is terrible...totally true and kinda funny but at the time this was awful.
in our early days together (and before our child arrived) we were going at it pretty heavy pretty much constantly.
erm...things were verging on 'rough' and some pretty outrageous verbal abuse was being used between us...and she's pretty dominant tbh...so she was leading a lot of the 'adventures' we were going on....i'm saying this for context...and trying to be as 'delicate' as possible.
so we're goin at it one day...i'm on top...she starts saying 'spit on me...spit on me'....now due to the way things had gone i'm thinking she...well....okay - I spat in her face.
she meant she was a little dry downstairs and wanted some lubrication...not to have someone spit in her face.
I coulda died tbh.
thankfully she saw the funny side of it.