1. If you're gonna ride a moose, at least do it right Wanderfoxx

Middle of night shift, get a Report of a guy trying to ride on a moose. Officer attends, there is indeed a male trying to ride said moose. Male is wearing a high vis vest and a helmet, which his girlfriend made him put on, for safety reasons, of course.

2. You've pushed me too far this time mother. Via NumeralZeus

My ex's mom wouldn't buy him mcdonalds. The guy is 15. His mom said "no there's food at home," so being an adult he calls 911. Then he's ashamed of calling 911 so doesn't say anything. One of his sisters is screaming at him for being an idiot and the other is laughing hysterically.

His mom had to get on the phone and explain she raised a bratty kid who throws tantrums when he's told no.

3. What are you supposed to say to a person like this, Schadenfreudete?

A lady ran over herself with her own car. She called to let us know she was okay.

4. I figured you get so many calls about emergencies it might be nice to have one that's not. From musselshirt67

Around 3am

Me: *** county 911, do you need police, fire, or medical? Caller: nope. I'm calling to report there is no emergency. Me: ... ok, you don't need any assistance? Caller: no sir, everything is good here. Me: ok, well you called an emergen... Caller: click

5. COPS YES HELLO, Mav034 IS IT? I HAVE A HORSE RELATED EMERGENCY HERE

me: 911 whats your emergency? Caller: there is a horse laying down in a field. me: do you believe it is injured? Caller: no it just normally stands up. me: yeah, we will have a deputy go look at it.

6. Yo lobsters aren't even that good, MrsRomeo

My favourite call of all time was up in arms about lobsters being reserved at the local grocery store. He had a fit, and called back a few times. Screaming and crying from the Seafood counter in a store I used to work for. I eventually sent an officer. Threw an even bigger fit in the store. Dinner was cancelled and lobster man spent a night in jail. I called my old co-worker to get the play by play from inside the store.

7. This is the only thing that gets me hard anymore, sonofamon

A passerby on the sidewalk heard screaming. Turns out a couple was getting frisky, the wife was tied up on the bed, naked, and her husband was nude except for a Superman cape. He jumped up to get on the bed, hit his head on the ceiling fan and knocked himself out cold. The wife started screaming, and the passerby checked it out and called the police.

8. We're gonna need your best men on the case for this one, emon3yy

If I had to pick a favorite I'd have to choose the time a concerned citizen called in an animal stuck in a tree. That animal...was a bird.

9. This is when you just ditch the car completely, Orichalcon

I heard about a lady who called the police because there was a spider on the door handle of her car.

This was in Australia so they sent out 3 cop cars and an ambulance just in case.

10. Yo I'll take that house of your hands free of charge, jdkon

Some lady wanted the fire department to come burn her house down because she thought a demon lived in it. I sent paramedics and police to check on her but I told her we'd be happy to burn her house down in a controlled training capacity if she wanted to donate it, but there was a lot of paperwork to get that started.

11. This is much worse than any meth lab we could've expected, KurzweilBarr

I got a call one night about 3am.

"I hear a buzzing noise coming from my neighbor. I bet it's a meth lab!"

Sent an officer with the lowest of priorities.. turns out it was a vibrator and not a meth lab.

If you're wondering, yes, this was in Florida.

12. This quote is actually the title of my autobiography, Killer-Barbie

"I'm super drunk and i got run over by a sled" now is northern Alberta typically this would mean a snow mobile and potentially life threatening injuries. No, no. His kid hit his ankle bone with a wooden toboggan. Didn't even have a bruise.

13. Ok but how do you cook the turkey tho, Hashtaglibertarian

1) Every Thanksgiving you'll always get the person who calls because they don't know how long to cook a turkey. Never fails.

2) Every Thanksgiving someone always puts a frozen turkey in a deep fryer - usually in a trailer home - and a fire "surprisingly" occurs.

14. It's probably the same demon that was in that house that needs to get burned down, whitedemon21

Yesterday morning was a cold one in my area. Icy conditions on the roads, widespread crashes, all the good stuff... Lady calls in and complains about a suspicious substance on the road that made her car slip. She was driving too fast to see what it was but insisted that something strange was afoot.