I was co-teaching some classes and this little girl hugged my leg and said, "miss Ashley, I love you. But miss Lisa is so much prettier. Your husband should marry her."
"daddy, mommy is too pretty for you and i love her more than you."
i mean, she's right, but still.
little shit. 3 year olds, man.
"Daddy when we hit the waves your boobies bounce"
I was doing the Step Up For Kids, which is an 82 floor stair climb up the Aon Center in Chicago.
About half way up, I paused and said to one of the kids lapping me "wow, you are doing way better than I am".
She responded back "yea and I have cancer".
Got my second wind right there and flew past that little shit. (Not really, but it did motivate me to shut up and finish)
My kid asked me why I have witch hands (bony with long fingers) and whether she would get them when she got old. She cried when I said yes.
Back when I taught Martial arts, one of my students asked me why I cut my hair.
I told him "I thought my old one was ugly so I wanted one that would make me look more handsome."
His response? "Oh. You're still not handsome."
It gave me a good laugh. I mean it completely crushed me inside but when you have a class of students and parents with all eyes on you, you can't let anyone know.
"You always say you're going to do things, but you don't."
"You sound like a donut."
I don't even know what that means.
My 6 year old just brought us a letter written in crayon. It says "I ❤️ U daddy mommy" but daddy is crossed out. She turned to her daddy and said "I don't love you daddy"
I asked the kid of a Spanish family I was living with a question, and he responded: "I didn't understand, and please, don't repeat."
"You don't have a girlfriend?" "No, not yet." "Oh. Makes sense"
Never been so emotionally damaged before.
"Why do you have holes in your face?" I have acne scars..
I was teaching my 5 year old son how to "be a gentleman". At a fancy restaurant he raced to the door to open it for a group of 10 or so elderly ladies. He pridefully SHOUTED "Hey Dad! I'm holding the door open for this bunch of old ladies!!!" /sigh