Terrible news, everyone - a celebrity couple has broken up! Yes, two celebrities in a relationship together have decided to no longer be in a relationship together, which is pretty shocking, because usually romantic relationships between two celebrities of varying fame lasts forever. As far as we're aware, this is the first time this has ever happened.

Why does this affect your lives? Why would the breakup of two total strangers who live very weird lives that are in no way relatable to you on any level have any kind of significance for you? Because LOVE IS DEAD. Love USED to exist and was a possibility for you, but now it's not. After all, if these two celebrities (whose actual lives and circumstances you didn't know at all) couldn't make it work, what hope is there for the rest of us schlubs? After all - love USED to be alive, but now it's dead and gone, all because I projected my entire conception of love and successful marriages onto the guy from 21 Jump Street and the lady from Step Up's relationship and maybe that's just kind of weird and unhealthy.

Remember a world where love existed? I do. It was nice - birds were chirping, flowers sprung from the ground, and Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan were in a stable, loving marriage. Everything was perfect - until it all came crashing down and LOVE DIED, for the very first time.



Except for the time before that...



And the time before that:



And the time before that:



And the time before that:



And the time before that:



And the time before that:



And the time before that:



And the time before that:



And the time before that:




So do what you must. Go about your day. Just know that love has died at least ten times in the last couple years, and I really wish celebrity couples would stop breaking up and ruining love for the rest of us.

So - please don't break up, Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively, I beg you.

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