For some reason we all came to the conclusion that Karen is the funniest wife name, and if you've got a problem with that you're just gonna have to deal with it, Karen.
1. Heh nice try
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2. And you just earned yourself no rides on it for a month
WIFE: You promised not to spend the lottery winnings on something stupid
-- Floyd (@dafloydsta) December 16, 2015
ME: *climbing off my new elephant* He has a name, Karen
3. Also, there's a dissapointing lack of fish to be had in this game of Go Fish
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4. More on this at 11
WIFE: He won't stop pretending he's on the news.
-- Floyd (@dafloydsta) August 2, 2016
THERAPIST: Any truth to that?
ME: *shuffling papers* This just in, Karen is a goddamn liar.
5. Answer, Daily Double
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6. He deserves a big day just like we did
WIFE: Stop spending money on stupid stuff
-- Floyd (@dafloydsta) August 17, 2016
ME: Okay
[later]
WIFE: What the hell?
[dog walks by in a tuxedo]
ME: He's getting married, Karen
7. Listen, man's got a point
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8. Cuz it sure as hell wasn't me, now was it
*sitting in the dark at the kitchen table waiting for my wife*
-- Dan Duvall (@lazerdoov) February 15, 2017
Hello Karen. Maybe you'd like to tell me who used all my essential oils
9. The water, it soothes me
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10. Show me one meme where I do that
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11. God knows and He's on my side
[arriving at church]
-- Floyd (@dafloydsta) September 25, 2015
WIFE: Don't go taking a nap during the sermon again
ME: *hiding my pillow* The 7th day is for rest, Karen
12. And if you don't mind once I get off I'll of course be headed to the pool
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13. But what we are made out of is condiments
wife: Can't we just buy a bigger catflap?
-- Sean Leahy (@thepunningman) June 12, 2015
me: [buttering the cat] We're not made of money, Karen
14. Glad she's moving on, that guy she was with was 1% evil, 99% hot gas
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15. We have a home we're remortgaging for christsakes
*Wife blows me a kiss from across the room*
-- GoaT FacE (@EndhooS) May 19, 2014
*I pretend to catch it*
*I walk over to the window and toss it outside*
"Grow up Karen"
16. Ugh fine
