If there is any porn parody you would like to see reviewed, please for the love of God keep it to yourself.


Hello to you, and welcome to CollegeHumor.com, the one-stop shop for reviews of unfortunate pornographic videos such as Tugrats, Spongeknob Squarenuts, and now Dragon Boob Z.

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Dragon Boob Z opens on a Dr. Seussian rendition of Kummy House, wherein Vageata, Gokooze aka Cockarot, and Ballma are sharing a meal together as Prickolo sits off to the side meditating and doing shit with her mind.

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Ballma has made a delicious spread which from here appears to be just bread.

Vageata notes, "I haven't eaten this well since lunch. Gokooze corrects, "Actually it's pronounced Launch", a reference to the Dragon Ball character Launch, who switches between two different personalities every time she sneezes. "That girl's cartoon pussy is nothing to sneeze at." Gokooze adds. So I guess Vageata ate her pussy for lunch.

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Ballma asks "Where's everyone else?" a sad indication that she has prepared a meal for many more people than have actually arrived to enjoy it.

"Android 18 had to go Android #1", Gokooze explains.

"Oh, is she in the bathroom?" Ballma asks.

"No, she's at the White House. The President asked if we had anyone for his Android pee party, and I said, 'You're in luck'". Honestly sure, why not.

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Ballma just kinda gets up and leaves the scene, and we are interrupted with Breaking News from 'Cocksule Corp' on TV.

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"Breaking news from the Cocksule Corps Uranus Space Observation Center. An oddly shaped spaceship has been spotted heading directly towards Earth's atmosphere, and not the Earth's Atlas-phere (from American Gladiator) as previously reported. The CCSOC was able to capture this photo of the object:

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I know that this news will come as a shock to many of you, seeing as how you are anime characters. But really this news should only come as a shock to some, seeing as how recently you were balled back to life by the god Shlong after the last time Earth was destroyed by a crazy alien"

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Above I guess is Gokooze getting balled back to life by the god Shlong. Fun side note, throughout this news being broken they drop in the same clip of Gokooze and Vageata reacting with "Huh?" "What?", over and over again to each new piece of information, which is funny.

The two hop to their feet, which is great because it gives a glimpse at the back of both of their shirts for the first time.

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Vageata's outfit is exactly what I will be wearing to my son's christening.

"Oh no," Gokooze laments, "Not another evil horny alien intent on destroying the Earth! Really though? Do I have a sign on my back? Did I put a personal ad on Craigslist for 'Hot Anime Girl Looking for Aliens to Come Fuck My Planet Into Oblivion'? 

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"Which of us will take on this giant space foe?" muses Vageata, aka the Vagman. Gokooze doesn't know, and then I guess even though he just asked, Vageata knows now cuz he says, "We'll decide this in the same way that all ancient races have been making decisions since the dawn of the universe".

In a best of one, Gokooze wins because "Cock beats paper". They didn't need to make this sexual, but you gotta respect that they did. Gokooze and Vageata depart, leaving Prickolo and the fat fucking spread of the most eclectic, poorly planned meal I have ever seen.

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What is this? Is that pizza cooked? Get that chicken off the cake.

Ballma returns, guess she took care of whatever she had going on, and goes "I can't believe these two barely ate any of the food that I made!" An insanely muted reaction for what must've been hours to days of preparation. "I haven't seen this many leftovers since the guys were on that crazy South Kai diet."

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Ballma asks Prickolo what she's doing and she's all like, "If you must know, I'm focusing all my mean green brain machine on moving that weird weapon I found in your nightstand."

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It's at this point where I personally would kindly ask Prickolo to leave my home because all she's been doing is sitting in silence away from everyone during my dinner party and now I guess it turns out she's rummaged through my shit and is trying to telekinetically move my vibrator.undefined

Ballma uneasily goes, "Oh, yeah totally a weapon." and then explains how she's just going to "clean up this mess over here" aka the pounds of food she made for realistically a family of 14 but in reality three people showed up, two of them just left and one is trying to move a vibrator with her mind.

Now, you people are smart, you can probably piece together what is about to happen. Wind chimes play as we focus on Prickolo,

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The vibrator, which is now being lifted,

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And Ballma's taint.

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For someone a moment ago who was unable to get this thing to budge, Prickolo sure gets this thing feet off the ground and into Bullma's vagina with relative ease. Bullma takes her top off for some reason.

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Prickolo, eyes closed don't forget, feels like she's doing it, and Ballma's like oh yeah you're doing it alright. But then Prickolo gives up and the vibrator drops to the ground. "For Kummy's sake I just can't do it!" she laments. She opens her eyes and looks over to see Ballma keeping the pleasure train rolling on herself.

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"What's wrong with you?" Prickolo asks, an unfathomably cavalier reaction.

I guess we'll never know what's wrong with her because now we depart from Kummy House and head to this fuckin place.

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Here we find Gokooze aka Cockarot confronting Vagin Buu with a bright pink bedspread behind them, so the mystery of who the fuck is actually getting laid in this has finally been solved.

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Guys, I cannot express how funny Vagin Buu's opening line is. It is without a doubt the greatest introduction to any character ever captured on film ever. I figured I could just tell it to you, but that would be a disservice - you really need to hear it in order to do it justice. So I went ahead and took Vagin Buu's opening line in DragonBoob Z and dropped it into the opening scene of Goodfellas, where normally Ray Liotta's character says, "As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster." Please enjoy an opening line which makes that one look like monkey ass:

Worth it wasn't it? On paper this line is phenomenal, but delivered with the confidence that it is puts it absolutely over the moon. I hope one day to have it stitched into a throw pillow for my home. Or perhaps engraved on my epitaph. Please know I consider this moment one of the finest in all porn parody moments that I've been subjected to thus far.

Anyway, we get to the fucking and for some reason there's weird yoga class music playing in the background throughout. It is strange and not great. Vagin Buu pulls down Cockarot's pants and awestruck, goes "This ass is over 9000!" which received a groan that I couldn't have stopped if you put a gun to my head.undefined

"Nothing like some good ol' fashioned Saiyan pussy" Vagin Buu notes. For being an evil alien sent to destroy the planet, she really is a supportive and attentive sexual partner. If I had no exposition, I would not think she's up to anything sinister.

Vagin Buu rubs Gokooze's butt and goes, "I can almost see where your tail was. You should've left it on, I wanted to get freaky with it." I personally am glad Gookooze left it off, I had no interest in watching Vagin Buu get freaky with it.

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Bu starts eating Cockarot's pussy and goes "It tastes like candy. And I should know all about candy." I imagine these lines are scripted but they are delivered so off the cuff, so a quick shoutout to actress Missy Martinez (Confessions of a Foot Maniac, Prisoner slut trades handjob for release) because if they are improvised, girl's got a respect for the source material. 

Gookooze notes how hard her nipples are, and Vagin Buu offers that "they're like two little sensu beans". 

The two eat each other out for like, awhile. Tongues definitely are the name of the game in this one.

I cannot share a picture of this for obvious reasons but let it be known that as Gokooze eats Vagin Buu out, the pink body paint she is covered in can visibly be seen liquefying and getting spread around and out of place. 

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Vagin Buu ties Gokooze's hands to the headboard and then has her sit on her face. A strong case can be made for all the noises Vagin Buu makes during this sequence to be the reason to not continue watching. It is excessive and unpleasant.

At one point Vagin Buu tells Cockarot she's being too loud, but it's like nah bitch that's you, but regardless she jams one of her yellow gloves into her mouth.

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The muffled moans from both of them backed by the weird yoga music playing in the background combines for a very bad auditory experience.

Cockarot cums while on top so now it's Vajin Bu's turn. She bends over and Cockarot fingers her pussy and ass from behind. That happens for awhile and then Vajin Bu gets back on top and fingers her right back. They scissor one another and seem to enjoy themselves.

But enough of all that. Please enjoy a list of phrases spoken during this porno that I will be using in my future sexual encounters, and encourage you to do as well:

1) "Your alien pussy tastes so good"

2) "You're going to make me cum-ay-cum-ay-ha"

3) "Finally, a worthy adversary in all of my travels"

4) "I bet scanners everywhere are picking up the power levels your fingers are giving off right now."

5) "See how many fingers you can fit in that little alien cunt."

6) "So far Earth has been one of my most favorite places to visit".

7) "No matter how strong you are, you always have a weakness and it's right here between your legs." 

8) "Baby, I'm gonna rock your Xenopherse."

9) "Enough with this mindless get to know you chit chat small talk, time to make sweet monkey love."

10) "If I knew that's what you wanted, I wouldn't have waxed my fur tail."

We end tenderly, as Vajin Bu calls for Cockarot to come close and they make out and snuggle. We freeze frame on them making out as we hear a voiceover go:

"Will Goku manage to please the horny alien Vajin Bu? Will Vegeta ever stop proclaiming himself the Tongue Prince? Find out next time on another exciting episode of DragonboobZ."

Overall, I found Dragon Boob Z fell short of it's potential. Nobody fucking ate the delicious spread of pies, bread, and loose chicken that Bulma prepared for everyone, and I only got to see the Vagman shirt like once.

But in all honesty, if you're a Dragon Ball Z fan, I have to imagine there are droves and droves of fan-servicing pornography that will get the job done for you more efficiently than Dragon Boob Z does. I do appreciate the gender blind casting, and of course will never forget "I was sent here by a perverted old scientist to taste the strongest puss in the universe".

Dragon Boob Z is a fun enough time at the pornographic movies, but I would liken it to a movie out in theaters you would only go see if you had Moviepass and nothing on your schedule that day.

I think commenter Kassy_Kage ultimately puts it best, so I will leave you all with her sagely take:

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