Feeling down? Well then, it's time to sit back, relax, and enjoy some grade A tweets that will give you a nice (temporary, sorry) serotonin rush that'll make you feel like a million bucks. Unless you're Danielle. Sorry.
1. From the day when he became a MILLIONAIRE.
Thank you to FB for this memory of how I've always been really good with money pic.twitter.com/3DNHhxuEJZ-- Elliott Smith & Wesson (@mattytalks) June 8, 2018
2. And maybe try a poo flavored pancake while you're at it.
3. They don't tell you this when you download the app.
tinder culture:-- strat planner ☕️ (@erasmusNYT) June 7, 2018
- The Office
- pretending to like hiking or rock-climbing
- extreme fear of emotional vulnerability
- robotically describing what you do for work
- learning about new prejudices
4. But that category would be 95% of Netflix.
when oh when will Netflix add a category called "things you can kind of watch while doing something else"-- Sarah Marshall (@Remember_Sarah) June 6, 2018
5. Do I like COUNTRY music? Heh. *cracks knuckles & starts singing Aquatic Ambiance*
her: do you like country music?-- 🎈sapphic krystal🎈 (@krystalbepsi) June 6, 2018
6. But also looks like he hasn't showered in months, ironically.
Post Malone looks like he was just pulled from a shower drain.-- Alec Sulkin (@thesulk) June 7, 2018
7. FEEL MY WRATH, SUBTWEETING SCUM.
when u show up in a thread where they were subtweeting u pic.twitter.com/hRFZUTEjRv-- jon hendren (@fart) June 7, 2018
8. Damn, I'm just a regular mess? Possibly ugly?
There's nothing worse than being a mess that's not even hot-- Gloria Fallon (@GloriaFallon123) August 25, 2015
9. More videos need Mario SFX.
This video required Super Mario sound FX, not commentary... pic.twitter.com/paRpcu3QC8-- Ozzy Man Reviews (@OzzyManReviews) June 7, 2018
10. Make that hospital your BITCH.
On your first day in the hospital kick the ass of the sickest motherfucker in there-- Cullen Crawford (@HelloCullen) October 21, 2013
11. Everyone is still remembering and laughing, Danielle.
In my 6th grade science class a girl read "orgasm" instead of "organism" and the class laughed & she was embarrassed. To calm her down our teacher told her everyone would forget in two weeks. It's been 9 years & I still remember Danielle. I fucking remember. I hope you see this. pic.twitter.com/gCXcXbJX2i-- wes (@sewkx) January 6, 2018
12. The giant we can all relate to.
jolly green giant implies the existence of another, sadder, green giant-- Mowgli (@Holy_Mowgli) May 14, 2018
13. Damn, another homerun from this guy. Gonna go RT and follow like you should too.
u think elephants got booger all up and down their trunks-- Ross Snow (@MessJenkins) January 16, 2018