crush deal breakers - couple in library

Sometimes we get a crush on someone without actually knowing much at all about them. Maybe they're cute and you've seen them around. Only later, once you've actually chatted with these people, do you realize they are actually horrific monsters wrapped inside of the shell of an attractive human and you want nothing to do with them.

1. I DEMAND imaginary wine, AT ONCE. 

He argued with the waiter because they didn't stock "Cabernet", only Cabernet sauvignon. He insisted just Cabernet was a thing. 

Now, I don't know any better myself, but I know I wouldn't get along with someone so convinced he's right that he'd argue with the man who literally serves wine for a living.

via tonybenwhite  / Reddit.com

2. Rotten wet food? How do you get to this point? 

Started dating a girl, after a couple of weeks I went to her house and it was a disgusting mess. Trash piled up everywhere, old food and fast food drinks. They had a bunch of animals and didn't clean up after them when they ate, there was rotten wet food all over the floor and walls. Animal piss all over the place. Killed any romantic feeling real quick.

via Boyburnsgrey   / Reddit.com

3. No thank you, middle-school d-bag. 

This semi-popular preppy guy at my middle-school and I hit it off pretty well, and then he just sat there with his buddies bullying kids with disabilities. Then his clique was super nice to the hot young paraeducator that worked in the special ed classroom, and they volunteered, only to make the kids' lives miserable. He asked me out later. I declined.

via TitanicBead  / Reddit.com

4. Uhhh, even with the further information, I'm still wanting more. We need to interview this woman.

She was crazy hot, but let her two dogs poop in her apartment, and she would leave it there for days. Im talking dog poop dried and hard just chilling in her kitchen, living room, bed room, whatever. And she thought I was weird for having an issue with it.

Edit: Wow, this blew up. Of course my highest rated comment of all time is about crazy dog poop girl. 

Since it's gotten some attention I'll try to expand on some of the most asked questions...

No one has guessed the right part of the country, so unfortunately there's more than one girl like this out there.

One dog was small, but the other was decent size. There was no other reason other than she just didn't think it was a big deal to let them poop in the apartment. 

It was carpet too.

I can't overstate how she didn't see what the big deal was. 

I have dogs, so when we walked into the apartment I was like, "oh no, looks like one of your dogs had an accident." 

But she just went an sat on the couch and was like, "what do you mean?"

Me: "Um, there's poop. On the floor. Right here."

Her: "Oh, they just go in the house. Come sit down"

Me: ...

I look around and start noticing other dried up piles around. I must have looked really confused, because she asked, "Why is it a big deal?"

Me trying to wrap my head around what was happening, "There's poop in your apartment. POOP!"

She just didn't care.

via imSuperman81  / Reddit.com

5. This woman has odd taste.

She was telling me her boyfriend issues then casually mentioned he was married "like her last boyfriend." Later I found out she dated 3 married guys and a gay dude she almost married.

via ToyVaren  / Reddit.com

6. I mean, living in a state of constant lies actually does sound like more of an exciting life than mine.  

She told me all about her fantastic exciting life, but the more i got to know her, the more holes i notices in her tales. 

Turned out she was just an adept pathological liar, and i literally didn't know her at all. The girl she had painted a picture of, across 3 weeks and multiple dates was entirely fictional. 

The magic died when i asked about a small inconsistency, giving her the benefit of the doubt, and she blew up at me, turned everything i had told her about my life into an attack on my character, and then acted as if she said it for my benefit. All that just to deflect from my question.

via TheNoidedAndroid  / Reddit.com

7. I guess that's one way to let someone down 'easy'? 

She told me I was a vampire hunter in another life, and that she was a vampire and she was afraid that I was going to kill her.

Deadass, I was in high school and this girl and I had started talking through Myspace and AIM, then decided to finally meet up in school. Now, keep in mind we had been talking (relatively normally) through AIM, it was nice conversations, slightly flirty as highschoolers tend to be. Anyhow, I get to school the next day after deciding to meet her, and she sees me, then hides behind the wall next to her.

Her friend says, You need to leave. So i shrug, then leave. Later that day once I made it home, after contemplating all day what I did wrong, she messages me on AIM and says "I'm so sorry about today, and I'm sorry about all these conversations we had. I didn't know that you were a vampire hunter."

...Excuse me?

"Yeah, I'm a vampire, as you probably know, and i could smell the vampire hunter's blood in your veins. You probably don't even realize you're a vampire hunter, but you are- it's in your blood and in your ancestry."

Shrugged my shoulders, realized she's insane, and moved on.

Years and years later, I found her through a friend of a friend, and she told me that she was just really shallow and thought I was too fat, so she had to find some reason why she didn't like me without "hurting my feelings too much."

Jerk.

via Marzz  / Reddit.com

8. Welp, never opening a door again. 

He picked his nose and wiped it on a door handle.

People were watching.

via crochetprozac  / Reddit.com

9. Hold up, babe, gotta send Stace my dong. Ok you were saying? 

He send unwanted nudes to my close friends (at the same time as we were having a normal conversation)

via Its_Natt  / Reddit.com

10. "Don't worry"

My ex one time wanted me to hang out in the bathroom while he was showering, so he could tell me about his day. After a few minutes the most g o d awful smell to ever grace my nostrils appeared and I started coughing. In between trying to breathe and trying to ask what happened, he interrupted me and laughed saying "Sorry babe I couldn't wait any longer" And he showed me that he took a dump in the shower. I was pretty grossed out but accidents happen I guess.

THEN HE STARTED SMASHING IT WITH HIS FOOT SO IT WOULD "Go down the drain"

"Oh don't worry babe, I do this all the time"

I was done at that point.

via Punkkins  / Reddit.com

11. This would get exhausting fast. 

I wouldnt say this was instant, but I started to figure out she really wants attention on her at all time. If people start talking about shit she has no idea about she will just start talking out her ass to be center of conversation and if people still dont care she will just leave the conversation and join another one where people will listen to mostly her. That is a big no-no about people I get involved with. I am rather laid back person, and probably could not handle spending significant time with someone like that.

via DreadWolf3  / Reddit.com

12. How do things even get romantic that quickly, post Cheetos? 

When he tried to finger me with Cheeto dust fingers

via OLafurBelue  / Reddit.com