Sex is almost always a pretty great thing. It's enjoyable for you, it's enjoyable for your partner, y'know, it's sex. But once in a blue moon, something can go wrong. Not just like, accidentally-farting-level-wrong. We're talking horrific, blood spewing, writhing-pain-causing, wrong. These people experienced this sex mishaps and lived to tell their bad, bad stories.
1. Please be strong and resilient, dickskin.
2. Misses, would you mind giving me good old fashion wristy?
3. It's like a much shittier, torturous method of donating blood.
4. Oh god.
5. "Phew, I did not finger punch a hole in this poor girl."
6. Sipping from glasses gets old and dull as you age.
7. "Everything looks normal besides that old tumor lingerin' around"
8. A happy ending for Bob.
9. Damn, this frenulum thing is problematic as hell.
10. On her death bed: "Any regrets grandma?" "Yes, not finding out what size fruit or ball to compare my burst ovarian cyst to." "...What?" *Flatlines*
11. Guys, don't pour cleaning chemicals on your junk.
12. AMPUTATE THE DICK?! Thank god tiny circular saws exist, for some reason.
13. Well, you almost gotta date for a while outta guilt.