With as many Bible iterations and verses, it's hard to really soak in ALL the Bible has to offer. Especially if you're just a Casual Christian (trademark) or *gasp* not religious at all. Well luckily for us, these people have gathered some of the more obscure Bible facts to share with us heathens.
1. I don't know what to make of this, but good to know.
The only breed of dog named in the bible is the Greyhound
TonyTheTigerKC / Reddit.com
2. Just normal desert walking time.
Moses and the Jewish people didn't wander through the desert lost for 40 years right after they escaped Egypt.
They made it to the promised land in a normal amount of time for walking, but were met with armies of the already settled. Nearly every person demanded to go back to Egypt to live as slaves rather than face certain death in the "promised land."
God said none of the currently living Jews would get to enjoy the promised land, so Moses lead them around the desert for 40 years until all the haters had died
Edit: IIRC Moses himself made God kinda mad so he wasn't allowed to enter the promised land either. He died right outside of it directly after the 40 years of wandering
oby100 / Reddit.com
3. This one makes sense.
It actually says you aren't really doing charity if you publicize your charitable acts at all.
But when you do merciful deeds, don't let your left hand know what your right hand does
It means you should try to keep your good deeds secret to avoid the temptation of doing them for self-gain and ensure pure intent.
LowsideSlide / Reddit.com
4. Uhh but that's way harder to quote.
The Bible doesn't say that "money is the root of all evil". It says "the LOVE of money is the root of all KINDS of evil".
RonSwansonsOldMan / Reddit.com
5. I was about to name my first born Abimelech but nah not any more.
There is a good story about a guy named Abimelech who had a rock dropped on his head by a woman. As he was dying he begged his servant to run him through with his own sword just so people would say that he wasn't killed by a girl.
Judges 9: 52-54
jjbisman / Reddit.com
6. Love me a book about gettin' it on.
The Book of Esther doesn't mention God by name. Neither does Song of Songs, but that's mostly about gettin' it on, so...
(It's a little more complicated than that -- because it's always a little more complicated than that -- but the basic fact holds up pretty well.)
Portarossa / Reddit.com
7. Pharisees and their ancient cliques.
Not all the Pharisees opposes or hated Jesus, the ones mentioned in the NT that were portrayed as hypocritical and trying to trick Jesus were likely an "in-group" within the Pharisee group, and I think Paul remained a Pharisee even after his conversion. Some Pharisees even defended Jesus.
ThisNameTotallySucks / Reddit.com
8. He's like the 4th Jonas brother.
Cain and Abel had a brother named Seth, and no-one cares about him.
psdnmstr01 / Reddit.com
9. Batman V: This One's About Ehud and Eglon
The story of Ehud and Eglon.
So, there was a wild and woolly period before Israel had kings that is covered in the book of Judges. Most of these are just legends, but one in particular is hilarious and badass.
There was a judge named Ehud, and Israel was ruled over by a kingdom ruled by a guy named Eglon. So, Ehud goes to meet Eglon, and I'll let the Bible tell it:
16 Now Ehud had made a double-edged sword about a cubit[d] long, which he strapped to his right thigh under his clothing. 17 He presented the tribute to Eglon king of Moab, who was a very fat man. 18 After Ehud had presented the tribute, he sent on their way those who had carried it. 19 But on reaching the stone images near Gilgal he himself went back to Eglon and said, "Your Majesty, I have a secret message for you."
The king said to his attendants, "Leave us!" And they all left.
20 Ehud then approached him while he was sitting alone in the upper room of his palace[e] and said, "I have a message from God for you." As the king rose from his seat, 21 Ehud reached with his left hand, drew the sword from his right thigh and plunged it into the king's belly. 22 Even the handle sank in after the blade, and his bowels discharged. Ehud did not pull the sword out, and the fat closed in over it. 23 Then Ehud went out to the porch[f]; he shut the doors of the upper room behind him and locked them.
That's some Batman-level shit right there.
BruceLee1255 / Reddit.com
Despite what many Christians and much of pop culture believe, Mary Magdalene was not a prostitute. She's just often mixed up with an unnamed "female sinner" who also washed Jesus's feet with her hair
Edit with some biblical sources:
Basically, Mary Magdalene is often confused with (or possibly the same as) Mary of Bethany, who did wash Jesus with her hair. Mary of Bethany is further confused with a woman "who was a sinner" (often thought to be a prostitute, although it doesn't say that) who ALSO washed Jesus's feet with her hair
-Annointing at Bethany (Matthew 26.6-.13 and Mark 14.3-.9: mentions just "a woman" who uses costly ointment to anoint Jesus's head at the house of Simon the leper
-"Sinful Woman" (Luke 7.36-.50): tells of a "woman in the city, who was a sinner" who went to Jesus at the Pharisee's house and "stood behind him at his feet, weeping, and began to bathe his feet with her tears and to dry them with her hair". Though she is just called "a sinner", she is often assumed in churches and popular culture to be a prostitute
-Mary Magdalene is mentioned many times in many contexts, but an important passage is directly following the sinful woman passage in Luke (Luke 8.1-.3) where she is mentioned as one of several women who accompany Jesus and the disciples. It says "Mary, called Magdalene, from whom seven demons had gone out". Presumably this close proximity in mentions contributes to the confusion
-Jesus Visits Mary and Martha (Luke 10.38-.42): mentions Martha and her sister Mary (who I assumed was, and was taught in church/Sunday school was, Mary Magdalene, though this might be wrong: there's a lot of Mary's in the Bible. The Mary in this story is the sister of Martha (and Lazarus), Mary of Bethany). Mary sits at Jesus's feet and listens to him
-The Death of Lazarus (John 11.1-.44, and again in John 12.1-.8): Lazarus of Bethany, brother to Mary and Martha, falls ill. Mary and Martha send to Jesus for help, but before he gets there, Lazarus dies. Jesus raises Lazarus from the dead. In both John 11 and John 12, Mary of Bethany is mentioned to have washed Jesus's feet with costly perfume and her hair. This is the story where Judas complains about the cost of the perfume
madmythicalmonster / Reddit.com
11. But what about paper cuts?
Crucifixion is said to be the worst pain imaginable. This is why we have the word "Excruciating" which derives from the Latin word crux or cruces
GuardingxCross / Reddit.com
12. Men were not allowed to RUN.
In the story of the prodigal son, nobody realizes how significant it is that not only did the father take the son back, but he RAN out to greet him upon his return. In that culture, grown men were never seen running. It was an embarrassment for a grown man to run to the utmost extreme. The fact that the father not only took the son back but ran out to him is supposed to illustrate how much God loves us - just like that father loved his son so much he didn't even care about being seen doing something considered horribly bad.
justforthissubred / Reddit.com
13. I'm imagining the Game of Thrones theme, but then it's the bible show.
The old testament has book after book telling stories of war, violence, sex, betrayal, heroism, murder, rape, prostitution, adultery, and more war. Large chunks of it could be filmed as an HBO game of thrones style drama while being entirely faithful to the source material and without changing anything. If anything, I'm underselling it. Shows up a fair bit in Genesis and Exodus, then gets good Joshua through 2 Chronicles.
dscott06 / Reddit.com
14. Seems to be a lot of erotic stuff going on in there.
There's an entire book of erotic poetry in there.
Also, God can't defeat iron chariots.
TheMightyGoatMan / Reddit.com
15. "She lusted after her lover's literal Super Soaker dong like daaamn."
That in Ezekiel 23:20 we have a description of some dudes who were packing SERIOUS heat. Literal Super Soakers.
There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. (NIV)