Hello, my friends. It is time for us to make you happy again. These tweets were hand-picked by us to make you smile!
Be sure to follow and RT these funny people!
1. A frickin' nightmare.
Anyone who believes in massive global conspiracies has clearly never tried to plan a dinner with more than like three people
-- Jess Dweck (@TheDweck) August 1, 2018
2. United States of America, the land of the free
HANCOCK: ok I'm ready to sign if u guys are
-- KT NELSON (@KrangTNelson) August 1, 2018
WASHINGTON: wait let's put a treasure map in there too
JEFFERSON: wait won't that encourage people to steal it? why would we, the founders, want that?
WASHINGTON (blowing out a huge bong rip): just fucking do it, tom. jesus christ
3. Who will be watching?
ok so hear me out on the buffy reboot pic.twitter.com/GhVWuR5c3W
-- Leah Gefilte Fish (@lpogoriler) August 2, 2018
4. xD so random
people in my friend group love laughing-- we dont care if its random
-- Catherine Cohen (@catccohen) August 2, 2018
5. It is scary
TIRED: "ALF" reboot
-- Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) August 2, 2018
WIRED: gritty, sexy, dangerous CW prequel to "ALF" called "Melmac"
6. BE BRAVE!
.@NBC give ALF a penis in the reboot you cowards
-- Tim "The Boat Man" Taylor (@pixelatedboat) August 1, 2018
7. Fucko pops
what if I didn't have any funko pops displayed in my room but then right before I was about to have sex I was like "hold on a sec" and pulled out a suitcase full of them and arranged them so that they were watching the bed
-- Stavros Halkias (@stavvybaby) August 2, 2018
8. Respect his authori-tah! xD legendary
my homeroom teacher started forcing me to stand for da pledge (which is illegal btw), so as a compromise she lets me say it in a Cartman voice
-- Dan Licata (@danlicatasucks) August 2, 2018
9. You'll probably be right quick
if i say "is this fortnite" to every single game i see then eventually it will be. that's simple maths
-- beth mccoll (@imteddybless) August 1, 2018
10. My Capricorn rising is telling me to unfollow
-- illy bocean (@IllyBocean) August 2, 2018
