this r/askreddit thread, we know....wayyyyyy too much about how people treat computers they don't own.
1. Six hours is an impressive amount of time to do ANYTHING. (from gringo1980)
This Indian guy had just left our company. He was extremely conservative, no bullshit, no joking around kinda guy. Small, glasses, and always dressed in button ups and khakis. He was pretty high up too, just below director level. Anyway, he left to start his own company and turned his laptop in.
You'd think someone working at a technology company would know to use incognito for any naughty stuff they looked at on their work computer, or at least clear browser history. Nope! Every second this guy wasn't looking at email or power points, big black butts. Constantly browsing for big black butts during work, and that's like all he'd do after work.
I don't mean he'd go home and look at big black butts for 20 minutes and jerk off. Everyday 6+ hours of looking at big black butts when he got home.
2. Hey, at least they added "consensual." (from alienalf1)
I was working on some stuff for the local parish church years ago and the latest search on the priest's computer was "consensual adult spanking". You know, I didn't care if he was into spanking but I had to lol that he went to the trouble of finding adults who consented.
3. I mean....even I'm curious. (from poaauma)
Logged onto a roommate's computer to play half life 2 and found a paused video still up entitled "two bitches pissin' on a barbeque."
4. Always make sure to doublecheck the settings on your phone. Please. (from BigMacFly)
A guy had recently quit from our office and had been gone for about a week and I was doing a final backup of his PC to store on DVDs. I had music streaming blocked at the firewall but I heard him listening to music from his PC so I decided to check his browser history to see what site he was streaming from.
His Chrome browser history was filled with all kinds of porn sites even up to the day I was doing the back up. I was confused at first about how his history was showing porn on days he didn't work there but I realized that he had synced his work browser with his phone browser and didn't log off of the work browser on his last day.
There was an hour of porn in the morning, an hour of porn at around lunchtime and porn all evening...every damn day. I like porn as much as the next guy but this guy had a problem.
I wanted to share with somebody so bad but I'm big on privacy so I logged him off the browser and cleared the history and kept my mouth shut.
5. If you have 50 Yahoo! toolbars, you're one sick monster. (from collin3000)
For me I always have though porn is a normal thing. but downloading 50 toolbars till you can barely see your screen or 20 different versions of the same majohg game makes me go WTF for sure
6. This is the most disgusting thing I've ever read. Yuck. (from sdvr1)
Started typing on their computer and it turns out they were using DVORAK instead of QWERTY.
7. This is simply wrong. C'mon - don't do this. (from keeblerElf1023)
A co-worker of mine had his desktop wallpaper set to a selfie of him bawling his eyes out. I was so fucking confused. When I asked him about it, he said "everyone has pictures of themselves smiling. Why don't we have other emotions in selfies?" To which I responded, "Because of that!" while pointing at his monitor.
8. If you're constantly getting porn viruses on your work computer, you miiiight set off a few red flags. (from GreekNord)
used to work for a place that did IT stuff for schools, mainly parochial schools.
one of the guys that had to have viruses removed more often than anybody else was a priest/teacher that taught 3rd grade-ish.
every virus came from porn sites, and he'd pretty regularly download literal gigabytes of porn every week - and this was about 6 years ago, so that is a lot more video than what it would be today (due to video quality increases over time)
we were out to clean up his computer about once a week, and the school/church was getting charged every time.
main reason that we figured out it was from porn was because the school/church asked us to look into why he was getting viruses so often. (we normally don't look into what they're actually doing unless we're asked to)
Browser history was all we ended up needing.
9. ¯_(ツ)_/¯ (from awildwaggs)
One of my roommates in college asked me to look at his computer, he said it was being slow and weird. I'm looking around and see a folder that says "private" I look in it and it's mainly like tax returns and other like official stuff, then there's another that says "super private" I open it up and it has 4 clips and a picture in it.
The first clip was a compilation of Kim possible grunting. It was like 5 minutes long.
Second clip is all 3 of secretariat's triple crown races.
Third clip is a 2 1/2 hour hard core gang bang porno.
Fourth clip is a little children's choir, which I learned was his little cousin, singing Christmas song.
And the picture. Was a crime scene photo of Nicole Brown Simpson.
I asked him about it and he said it was his special folder. I had never been more confused in my entire life.
10. Ignorance is bliss. Remember that. (from the_gift_of_g2j)
I work at a college IT department.
I didn't see it, but my coworker did.
An old guy shows up asking to help send a picture of his ID to his email. I see my coworker start working with him, then immediately set the phone down and walk off as the old guy hastily grab his phone and stand around awkwardly not talking or answering any questions when I ask him if everything is alright.
Coworker messages me from his phone saying tell him when the old guy leaves.
Old guy stands around for 5 minutes and then leaves.
Apparently, my coworker accidentally swiped to the next photo and it was this old dude's wrinkly hairy dick wrapped up in multiple purple rubber bands.
He's coming back from a year abroad this next week and his work station is going to be covered with purple rubber bands