If a vegan doesn't tell someone they're a vegan, then are they really, truly a vegan? I mean, yeah, some vegans aren't smug little turds that have to remind people they don't eat meat because it's unethical, but let's be real. Most vegans (at least on the internet) have a compulsive need to tell meatheads that what they're doing is wrong because CHICKENS HAVE FEELINGS TOO!
And to that we say yeah, we know. It makes them taste better.
1. I ALSO save lives!
*someone starts having a heart attack*-- updog (@uptowndogfunk) August 8, 2015
person: is anyone here a doctor
vegan: im a vegan
2. So...you're not boarding the flight, ma'am?
"Last call for flight 254"-- Saucy Kensington🇨🇱 (@Book_Krazy) August 31, 2015
[Runs to gate]
"You barely made it"
[out of breath] This isnt my flight. I just wanted to tell you I'm a vegan
3. The bar was condemned shortly after.
An atheist, a vegan, and a CrossFitter walk into a bar. I only know because they told everyone within two minutes.-- Matthew Tuthill (@MCTuthill) November 12, 2014
4. FISH HAVE FEELINGS (maybe?)
Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day.-- Dean Burnett (@garwboy) December 6, 2015
Give a vegan a fish and you'll never hear the end of it.
5. *vegetables intensify*
When you're a vegan and haven't told anyone in 8 minutes pic.twitter.com/3oGjWUxr12-- my name jjeff dog (@nigahiga1818188) December 12, 2015
6. I am SO sorry Mrs. Rutabaga
GF: don't worry, my mom will love you. just don't mention meat, she's a hardcore vegan-- your bff alex (@psybermonkey) July 1, 2018
Me: got it
Her mom: hello
Me: hi nice to meet OH FUCK I'M SO SORRY
7. Even the Scottish get it.
Imagine being a fuckin vegan, walking hame after a night oot steaming like "fuck me i could go a cabbage supper"-- jake knowles (@knowlsie18) January 27, 2017
8. Et tu, du boeuf?
[getting stabbed]-- MisoSilly (@SeiYoung83) December 6, 2015
"I'm a vegan"
9. *Aliens roll eyes and drop you out into the vastness of space*
[aliens dissecting me]-- Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott) September 30, 2015
"Can u tell I'm a vegan?"
10. Please, tell my wife and child that...I'm a vegan.
Reporter: How do you feel about all this?-- orange shirt guy (@awkwardphilippe) October 15, 2015
Man in windshield: I just wanted to say I'm vegan. pic.twitter.com/kclqJ3AsjG
11. This is how you get someone to short circuit.
If you're a vegan who ran a marathon & got your dogs from a shelter, how do you decide which thing to wedge into the conversation first?-- Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) April 19, 2012
12. Our baby will only drink beet juice.
Honey if you don't let the doctor install this vegan placenta our baby will be born a murderer is that what you want-- Daniel Kibblesmith ☃️ (@kibblesmith) December 12, 2015