Takeiro – OK, so who’s got something for me?

Yamamoto – Well, I had an idea, but it’s not that good…

Takeiro NONSENSE! Let me hear it, young man.

Yamamoto – Well, it’s the story of a school girl with green hair – she looks like she's 14, but don't worry she's really 18 winks. She’s a virgin, she’s got no pubic hair, and she’s in love with an elderly squid-genie.

Takeiro – I’m listening…

Yamamoto – Anyway, she’s in love with the Squid Genie, Nanako. But while masturbating quietly in a hot tub, a gang of crab demons emerge from the drain and they rape her.

Takeiro - Naturally.

Yamamoto – Right. Well, after the crab demons are done with her, the Demon King comes and lays his eggs inside of her body.

Takeiro – OK, OK, and…?

Yamamoto – Well, obviously the Squid Genie Nanako isn’t happy. He wants to avenge her, but before he gets the chance the eggs inside of her body hatch. Penis tentacles explode in every direction from her belly. Keep in mind she’s already covered in semen. Each tentacle is a different color, and each represents a different element. Half of the tentacles bind her arms, and the other half penetrate her. Anally, vaginally, orally – you name it, there’s a tentacle in there. It’s very shameful to her family. She then takes her own life by drinking blood from a sick cow’s excrement.

Takeiro – Let me stop you there. I feel like I’ve heard this before. Perhaps she takes her own life by inserting a sword into her vagina and lowering herself onto the blade instead?

Yamamoto – Yes, Yes! I felt like that was the weakest part of the tale. Thank you, sir, you are a visionary.

Takeiro – Think nothing of it, young man, continue.

Yamamoto – OK, so, Squid Genie Nanako must avenge his dead lover’s honor but just as he is about to enter the cave of delight he meets his dead lover’s ghost. Now, we all know the only way to banish a she-spirit is to ejaculate all over it’s soul spot…

Takeiro yawns

Yamamoto – But Squid Man is having difficulty achieving orgasm no matter how hard he thrusts his mandible into the apparition. He’s been cursed by the Demon King.
It’s kind of fortunate for the girl, actually, because his semen is acidic.

Takeiro – Interesting…

Yamamoto – So, after much rape, he journeys to the land of dead to consult his ancestors. There he meets his long dead grandfather, a shogun of the first order. He tells him he must engage in a sexual duel with Yaku, a sexual ninja.

Takeiro – Ehhhhhhh….

Yamamoto – Rape a sexual ninja?

Takeiro – Yes!

Yamamoto – And he rapes her, Nanako returns to the world of living with no answers. It is then that he realizes that love needs not a plan or an excuse, and that although he cannot bring his lover back to life, he can love her ghost in his manner.

Takiero – Which is…?

Yamamoto – Doggy style.

Takeiro – Does the ghost enjoy the doggy style?

Yamamoto – No, no she does not. In fact, it hurts her greatly.

Takeiro – I love it.

Yamamoto – Also, it turns out the girl was a boy who had been cursed by a witch.